45 is the new 100%

i'm not sure how it happened exactly, but i completely missed Wednesday last week..like i was so sure it's Friday today, n although everyone was referring to it as Saturday, i was completely unfazed..until about 2.am this morning..shit, i completely missed Wednesday..that's why i thought it was Friday..sigh..

and this matters because i thought i'd still have today to open my bank account and get a mobile plan and pass my passport to the school for verification and meet a NHS consultation slot and lots more! ugh..i feel so stupid......

now all i can do is go to the city centre n get my shoes changed n buy some groceries..wtf man..

a wasted end to the week..

so yesterday was the "pre-introduction"(?) to the MArch course..i freaked out upon arrival..seriously..i was the only freakin asian in the room when i walked in..it's soo freakin racist of me, but it just really scared the crap out of me..but eventually i think it's a good thing though..i forced my way into studying in the UK because i wanted this out-of-the-norm experience..so this is it, n it's a good thing..(n when i say "forced" i really mean it, like i maneuvered everything possible around me to get to this point)..so i guess "be careful what u wish for" really applies..

like, i've always known that i have inferiority issues..so honestly i was disappointed that i didn't make it into Bath or Sheffield for their MArch (they're my top choices), n almost everyone i know who applied for Liverpool got it, so i didn't think much of it..but after yesterday i was like "ok...."..because the way they do it here is that the head of programme chooses his students personally, like he actually vets through all the applications himself, n he's someone who remembers specific parts of peoples portfolios but maybe not their names..

he actually said this to everyone, "i want you all to know that out of 250 applicants only 45 of you made the cut, and you should know that you're here because we think that you're really good and that you would be able to do this course very well"..and that just honestly made me feel like a million bucks..it just made my day..my freakin week even..i don't care if anyone else agrees, but if someone, a practicing professional architect who validates architectural courses internationally to be exact, thinks that i am worth his attention in this unforgiving architectural universe of scrutiny, i am happy..honestly..dramatic..hahahahaha! :p

it also freaked me out how you could cut the competitive tension in the air with a freakin plastic spoon!..like everyone's here to kill it i felt..it was really intimidating..everyone ranged from about 22-25 years of age, so it's a fairly young class..n everyone is at least a head taller than me, even my new found Malaysian friend/studiomate Chloe..sighhhhhhh..freakin short stuff..my elstonian flatmates were joking about how small i was that they're just so afraid when they hug me or accidentally bump me i'll break..geez..i'm so freakin asian ok..damn..hahahaha

on a lighter note, i don't think i'll be hooking up with any of my coursemates..hahahahahahahaha..not that there aren't any good loking ones, like there's freakin loads, apa jenis u nak? cute blonde, edgy dark eyed brunette, jocky looking, chillax long haired grunge, the general handsome ones, yang pendek macam asian pun ada, seriously like anything..it's ridiculous..but like it's soooo tensed, like i can feel it already, the sizing up, the discriminating stares..like hey, i'm doing it too man..it's normal..i think that everyone would just end up hating/respecting each other too much..there's a very fine line between, yeah?..haha..i don't know..but this is a good kind of tension though, i feel that there's a colourful aura to it, not like the usual creepy "i'll stab ur back n with hold information ones" that's familiar..so it's all good so far :)

ok, so this is getting a bit too long..n i still have no photos to break the post into enjoyable portions..so until the next time i feel like writing again :) hopefully by then got photos already..

be happy, don't worry..watagatapittusberry!

- Pittbull & more

Take me Over, Make me Strong

to rationalize is to be weak, is it..but ultimately it's between urself n God right..justification is irrelevant especially if the law has been spelled out..but realizing or accepting/acknowledging the fact that what u're doing is wrong and wanting to be better when possible is better than not doing anything at all..but it's still not right right, right..sigh..life is hard isn't it..

so easy how we come undone..

Dishwalla - Candleburn..

A New Beginning

it's my second day in Liverpool and after almost 2 months of silence i'm ready to blog again :)

so i was the butt of a bit of drama when i arrived in Manchester..being the occasionally half deaf person i am, i misheard this senior airport officer who was segregating people arriving into lines..he was saying "non-students" but ofcourse i heard "students"..how dumb right..then i kena marah by him really loudly when i reached the counter..i was so embarrassed, it took me a good half hour to get over it..sigh..but it's alright, i think my face went charcoal black after and the officer that dealt with me i think felt really sorry n was being really nice about it..

i fell asleep on the bus to Liverpool..so i was out cold for like 3/4 of the journey..haha..but as soon as i woke up..the view was just amazing..i really felt like i'm on campus ground u know..with halls, n fields, n departments, n a real-life gothic cathedral..i'm like "oh yeah, this is for real!"..haha!

i'm happy with my room..its size is just right and with the addition of my computer, a small floor mat, toiletries rack n blue tacked photos, soon it's gonna be awesome..

so i'm taking note of how many friends i've made right..haha..i'm just lame like that..whether or not they consider me a friend as well is a separate matter :p n officially it's 10 and counting..yeaahhhhhh!! hahaha

1. Wendy from China
2. Michelle from Taiwan
3. Alex from Romania
4. Arsene from France
5. Dikla from Israel
6. Fahmi from Indonesia
7. Samad from Spain
8. Hennah from China
9. Zheng from China
10. Irina from Elstonia

cool right! :D..i'm hella proud of myself man..ngehehehe..i'm such a geeeeekkkkkk..sigh..i still find making friends sooo difficult..it's ok, crash course time!

and i'm suffering from some shit ass jet lag at the mo..it's in that stage where it's half cured so i still zombie-size at around 5.30pm but instead of sleeping in up till 4am i'm awake at 9pm, headaches n all..dangit..so Arsene had asked if i wanted to chill n i said i'd really love to after i take a nap n now it's freakin 10pm so he's probably out having fun already..bummerrrrr :(

oh oh, n i passed the School of Architecture building today n i feel it man..like seriously, i FEEL IT!..inspired n all!!..rrroooaaaaaarrrrrr!! hahaha!!!..hope i'll be able to cope..the coolness of everything is kinda intimidating n freakin me out :p haven't met any studio mates yet though..would be really interesting..hmm hmm hmmmmmm

so yeah..everything's going alright as of now..i was feeling a bit emo-ed out this evening..i think homesickness is kicking in :( n everytime i pay for something my brain automatically multiplies by 5 which makes me feel like i don't want to eat anything..hahaha..but if it's considered pound for pound, i think the living cost here is not bad at all..

i also think that some locals tend to be quite racist unintentionally..but who could blame them, it seems like half their country is covered in foreigners..things can get quite lonely n boring if takde kawan, so i think berkawan-kawan is seriously important man..

so i'm experiencing problems uploading anymore photos..dunno why..will put up some stuff in my next post then :) all in all, i'm having a great time..thank God..hopefully it'll carry on this way till whenever..i'm gonna make myself dinner now, goodnight~*