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ah moi got me hooked on this song..

i have to admit, i just love rihanna..love her voice and her catchy songs..

i wish i was super talented on the guitar so i can just grab it and play them in acoustic versions..and sing ofcourse..haha..i miss singing..like really singing..outside the bathroom and car..dang......

Rihanna - "Photographs"

hopefully it's gonna be a bunch of positive replies..

i have the month off to work on the aussie ones, and scholarship apps should come out by the end of the month through march..

i know i'm hanging on to chance, i'm no first class graduate and i wasn't the star of the design studio or anything but an average jane like me could hope and dream too right?..

i'm in love with life at the moment..just taking each day as it comes..really engulfing every single up and horrible downs of my emotional state and just learning to deal with it..

i've been blessed with the company of some extremely incredible people in my life that i should remind myself i have no reason to complain..

i'm an emotional sucker..i'm in love with some people who will never realize the capacity of which i am able to care for them..i wear my heart on my sleeve yet i am completely incapable of showing people how i truly feel..

i have made countless mistakes in my life that have cost me great friends and more..and it's those beautiful people who accept me for all that i am, without question or prejudice, without the slightest waver and ill concern, expressing the greatest understanding and just unbelievable love, that i really thank God for everyday and silently pray for everyday..

i still choose to be an idealist..i've seen greatness in people and i believe in it..true love really does exist and real friendship really knows no bounds..the world can truly someday be at peace and every thing in existence someday will learn to be as one..i'm sure of it..

laugh at me if you may..but if you truly believe it, you will live to see it :)

there's so much more left to do..

i have no more money...

i don't know if i can meet my deadline anymore...

i'm under a lot of stress and it doesn't help that there's added tension all of a sudden...

i'm tired and officially depressed...

but i still want this so bad!!!

challenges makes success a lot sweeter?..

i sure hope success is my destiny with this...sigh...

i'm scared of 3.45pm today...

i wish i could take the whole month off...

i just wanna be left alone sometimes...

i wish i didn't have to wake up to someone yelling at me, twice, this morning...

i wish all this preparation didn't cost so much...

i wish that i will be able to meet my deadline...

why in bloody hell am i so emotional sometimes?...

i wish taylor lautner is 25 and not 17...

i wish taylor lautner was malaysian...

i really wanna go holiday with the girls...

i really hope i get to continue overseas...

i hope that 3.45pm today goes well...

as the saying goes,

the opposite of love is none other then INDIFFERENCE

there's a very thin line between "compromise" and "indifference"..once the line is crossed, there's really no turning back..which serves to be the biggest disappointment in life..it is equivalent to the loss of hope..

hopelessness leads to despair..

despair leads to resentment, anger, and all of the above..thus, the above are all just by-products of indifference.. your mind tells your heart that it's ok to feel which ever way for something you don't want to care about anymore..

today something happened..

i finished my assigned job early and didn't really have anymore "meet-the-deadline" rush-rush thing to do so i went back to updating the supplier library..i already finished keying in the roof inventory into the computer so i decided to do the doors next..

so i sorted out the different categories, types and all that and began reading the catalogues and jotting down the needed information to be uploaded into the computer lah..

long story short, i got to the "Automatic Doors" category..this was like 2 and a half hours into just reading and writing..there was a brand of doors imported from Japan called NABCO..as i was reading it, i found myself giggling like a little kid amazed at the different types of colour coated jelly beans on display..

there were like almost 10 different types of different automatic doors! each of the 10 having its own break down of 2-3 different variations! i was like so totally amazed!! the coolest were their collection of automatic revolving doors with the "circle star X" as the prized jewel! wow, i have never seen this door in my life and it's so COOL!! it's like a combination between a revolving door and sliding doors, like what the hell right?! i can't even imagine how it would work if i were walking through it..awesomeness....!!!

so yeah, as all this excitement raced through my head i didn't notice the ridiculous face i was making while giggling into a freakin door catalogue like it was a picture book..i had my mp3 on so i was kind of in my own little world until i thought i saw something moving from the corner of my eye..like that, an imaginary hand smacked my sub-concious telling me to snap out of it..as i was coming back to reality, i think i somewhat remember making weird grunting noises in between giggling earlier..oh my God..

seriously, a big oh my God..i'm in my office kot sitting at the meeting table..now, only God knows what my office mates might have saw and what they thought about it..i noticed someone sort of laughing to themselves, i really hope i wasn't the reason behind it..

i am such a NERD!..