Sailing on a Flimsy Reality

it's been ages since i posted something...

reason no.1 - life just took a new turn into "work-hood"
reason no.2 - internet at home is down and will be down for a while until i get it fixed, which would probably take ages

i'm so so tired of stressing out..why am i so fickle and gutless when it comes to making decisions?
i over think everything in life and in turn hurt myself and others along the way by procrastinating important decisions!
i'm just sooo tired and unwilling to deal with consequences....

work has been rudely tiring but surprisingly fulfilling..
gym nights have been helping me ease my sorrowful working existence by giving me reason to look forward to something other then staring into a computer screen..
they always say that when you do something you like, work doesn't feel like work anymore..
i beg to differ..work will always be work, because of the repetitious un-breaking cycle it revolves around..
no matter how much fun work is, repetitious cycles are boring, draining, and life-suckingly zombie like..
i can't wait to get back to studying..hahahaha! i am never satisfied in what ever situation i'm in..

i decided to go for a theater production audition the other day..it was one of those "on-a-whim" decisions i made..
i had to prepare 2 monologues and a song..the auditions didn't go as well as i hoped it would have though..haha! nervous!!
but i'm really glad i did it..i don't know if i'll get called back, but either way, i'd definitely go and audition some more..
at least now i know roughly what to expect..and if i do eventually end up getting into a show, then it would be an exciting addition to my daily routine..

i might just get my hair coloured this weekend..depending on how much it's gonna cost me and how long it's gonna take..
and i wanna get coloured contact lenses too..i think i'm going through one of those "spice-up-your-life" phases right now..
i also realized that i get envious, "terasa" and emo-motion way too easily sometimes..even when it's got nothing to do with me..i'm quite the nut-case..

well, this is my update to last me the next week or so i guess..internet, oh internet..please fix yourself if you don't mind?please please please.................