bye-bye tortured soul...

i suddenly feel a rush of emotions..

i've come to realize that i can be quite the mengarut most of the time..

i've always considered myself awkward, weird, a little off centre and definitely a sore thumb sticking out beside everyone around me..but maybe it's just me who makes me awkward you know..hmm..im talking gibberish again..

it's official, i'm extending an additional semester due to some unforeseen and totally unexpected circumstances..i'm very sad about it ofcourse, but i've come to terms with the fact that this is the best thing to do lah in order to save my cgpa..haih..how depressing..

it's not more on the extending part you know..i actually really don't care much..it's just that i made plans to be on holiday that coming 6 months to sooth my over-worked soul..and i had so many things i wanted to do..now all that is just a distant dream that may or may not come true, depending on how heavy the 3 subjects would be..

yeah, i decided to push 3 subjects due to 1 slip up..the 1 is equivalent to 3 studying subjects since time is the biggest issue in an architecture students forsaken life..*big sigh..

but ultimately, i'm really affected by the fact that i won't be attending the same convocation as my fellow classmates..it's suppose to be a memorable once in a life time experience thing together right, and basically that's out the window now..*bigger sigh..

most of all, i feel like a hollow depth is being drilled through my tortured soul when i think about parting with the friends i recently made..it's so ironic, but although knowing them for just months, i feel as though i've known them forever..it's like all this while feeling so misplaced and awkward, i finally found a place for me to fit in and soon i have to move again..they may not feel the same way, heck they may not even get me but that doesn't really matter to me though..when i'm spending time with these few people i feel like i'm back home again..at least i feel like i can understand them..

all this boils back down to me, always creating awkwardness in perfectly un-awkward situations..when there are people who seem sincere in being friends i start getting weird about it, but when there's an obvious "udang di sebalik batu" thing going on i'm so freakin oblivious to it..haha..i guess i am weird..like in a stupid way..*biggest sigh..

well, this is me..going through my emo motions again..i'm yawning now which obviously means i'm sleepy..i've been freakin having nightmares lately..it's so so tiring..i just pray that God will help calm my tormented soul..until that day comes....

alia is searching for the balance between.....

branding my mind - brand in my mine

thanks to miss Syazato! i am so extremely into online shopping right now..hehehehehehe...

it's so convenient, sites can be so detailed about what they're selling that u know almost exactly what u're getting and this makes a trip to the mall so menyusahkan..haha..u may or may not get what u're looking for..but online, u can look until u get what u want n it will eventually be sent to ur door step..hehe..haih...

going through all this information reinforces my want to start my own thing..i'm just really not sure about the risk behind investing my time n money in starting a business..i've been thinking about this for so long it's crazy..but i know that deep down inside, this little side project will make me very happy :)..hehe..

well now i'm in the 'planning-n-writing-a-business-plan' process..will hopefully be able to really kick things off when i graduate next year n take 6-12months off..hahaha..seriously man..i need investors (like my brother n parents, hehehe) that can provide me with sufficient "modal" on top of what ever i'm putting a side myself..in order to do that, i need to produce a killer business plan (something my brother mewajibkan me do) if i even dream of getting anywhere near doing this..i don't even know how to begin to do it..but that shouldn't stop me from trying right..hehehe..

one really huge problem though..i have to be realistic in life right, i definitely don't have the balls (ofcourse i don't, i'm a woman..hahahaha) to drop everything i'm doing n what ever courier plan i have for my future just to feed my need for self-satisfaction..i would love if i could juggle my current pre-planned architecture courier with my obsession in creating my own brand..thing is, i really don't know if that's a good idea..entahlah..am i capable enough to not get distracted by one to screw up the other?..it's scary..

well right now, i really do wanna try anyway..?? gosh..i hope n pray that this is the right decision..hehe..go go aliebarley!

      blue lillies, by tomtack

Tropic Thunder

(Official Trailer)

i watched this movie the night i completed my Building Construction examinations 2 days ago..i completely loved it :) it was soo super funny, and Tom Cruise's persona in this movie just blew me away..he is really that damn good an actor..at one point i really considered him to be so full of himself and just an old washed out actor living in the shadow of his younger days, but i honestly take it all back..it was a dumb ass role, but to think that he could pull it off that well was amazing..

i also thought that jack black deserved a better role in the movie though..his was just too stupid..jack has more talent than that..it was somehow one of those roles that any idiot could have easily pulled off..they made use of jack's physical character as a joke too much that i really disagree with the idea..but oh well, slapstick comedy right?..

the on-screen tension between robert downey junior and ben stiller was also really good..i somehow imagined it to be that way a little in real life too, on set..hehe..i dont know why..they were both really good at portraying their roles..and last but not least, the addition of "alpa chino" and the nerdish character that i just can't seem to remember his name, was just icing on the cake lah..

a good stupid joke movie lah this one :)

ps : i really recommend checking out the closing montage for the movie..i like it so much i am so downloading it when i get the chance..it was really well done and plus, with tom cruise dancing like an idiot, i think it's just really entertaining..

Suzuki SX4 Crossover

"Some day, you will be mine sweetheart :)"

Specs from Suzuki Malaysia Sdn. Bhd. (Link)

Selling price from Suzuki Malaysia Sdn. Bhd. (Link)

TopSpeed USA article (Link)

motiontrends.com article (Link)

My Blog Browsing Adventures

wah!!!

i just added some friends blogs to my link list and i really really like their background and layout styles and all!..i want to customize too!!..but sadly no time yet :( geesh..

nvm! soon enough i will! hopefully if i can figure out how lah..haha!

sadness is just a state of mind

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

it's Hari Raya again!!!! and i'm so happy :) hehehehe...

i thought this year's raya experience was a good one...it's been a while since everyone from my extended family balik kampung together-gether...it's been a while more since i caught up with my cousins and their wal hal hidup, hehe...and i'm really glad to know their doing great :)

realising that all my cousins and nieces and nephews are all grown up now is freaking me out just a little bit, knowing that pretty soon i would have to be putting a side money for them as duit raya...haha...watching my dad and brother sit on the dining table the last night of puasa like ceti haram-s counting money and dividing them into little green packets...so systematic...

my closest cousin who's a year older than me now has 2 beautiful little kiddos that's so so adorable i feel like squeezing the life out of them...the eldest boy, Nashriq, came and hugged my head out of the blue one night and just made me feel so excited i wanted to pinch him...honestly, i find it a miracle that i can feel this way with kids because i used to be so freaked with these little creatures i wouldn't dare touch one let alone play with them...they seem so fragile, it's like if my clumsy ganas hands is anywhere near them they might just shatter into a million pieces.

one of my nephew's pulak has the most fantastic smile that just brightens up your day without fail...this little guy is such a sensitive creature, he cried his eyes out on hari raya day because their cat, Herbie, went missing that morning and he was nowhere to be found...my nephew wouldn't eat or drink and just locked himself in his room until we convinced him to go look for Herbie ramai-ramai...sadly we didn't find him then...but on the 2nd day of raya, Herbie came meow-ing back on his own dirty and hungry from his new found Melaka adventure...hehe...he had a shower, ate his food and stayed indoors for the remaining days.

freaking all my cousins and nephews and nieces have a handphone each ok...what has technology brought us to? hahahaha...it's crazy...i was too lazy to bring my camera balik kampung this year, and i so regret it!...i just really loved this raya a lot, it was so much fun...

owh, we also had a collective birthday party...hehe...everyone who's birthday is in this month was celebrated on the 2nd night of raya...and after the candle blowing festivities, there was a fireworks exhibition! cheh...haha...it was really nice though, we all set on a mat in the garden and watched the fireworks break into pretty little flickering lights above our heads...it made me appreciate still having a kampung house to go back to during raya and having my family to share the experience with...

i am utterly thankful, alhamdulillah...:)