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Ryan Red

2012-02-17T09:27:00.001+08:00

Meet my vintage sweater named Ryan. He is a terribly festive red. We don't know how Ryan got his name, but we are incredibly thankful for his warmth and comfort. Thank you Ryan, you've wooled me through winter.

Eternally greatful,

your sleeping buddy

Dictionary.com

2012-02-17T09:19:00.001+08:00

Word of the day :

"mammonism" - the greedy pursuit of riches

...so very interesting...

Quick Fix

2012-01-24T04:12:00.001+08:00

i haven't been actively blogging for a while now, i realize..lot's of things have happened..yes..but now i want to talk about other things..haha!

i broke my glasses last month, which can be said to be last year..hmm..luckily, i had foresight to make a pair of spare for cheap back home during summer..i wear them at night when i'm home usually as my day glasses are a bit heavy..but now that i have to wear these everyday i hate it :(

i have come to appreciate the magic of larger framed spectacles! simply, i can see more without squinting and they make my eyes look bigger as i am naturally "sepet". Kesian my spare glasses, i don't mean to hate..i think i'm giving it negative vibes which it does not deserve..

the other day i took off my specs to use the shower, then i forgot where i put them. It took me a good half hour to locate my glasses (yes, i am quite sadly optically disabled now) and i had to result to holding up my broken pair of glasses to find the good ones. FYI, i only occasionally wear contact lenses now as i'm kind of "allergic" to them due to other reasons that we don't have to talk about.

so why am i going on about this again? hmm...

i know..i guess because i'm tired, i'm almost bored of doing this thing called dissertation and i'm missing home all of a sudden..again. I want to spend time with my recently pregnant cousin, i want to annoy my brother, i want to see my Popo, i want to lo-sang; twice, one with my Ah Yie, Uncle, Popo and cousins and another with my Mak Ngah and Mak Teh..most of all, i want to watch tv in the hall with my parentsss! arghhh..

winter blues are so depressing..

ps : thanks SB for randomly holidaying in London..am really glad i got to come down and see you for a bit..absolute highlight of my January :)

iPad

2011-12-05T07:35:00.002+08:00

E : Do you play "noodle-jump"?? (this is what i heard)

A : no, what's that?

E : it's when you tilt your iPhone or iPad to jump on to the levels..

A : ...i don't understand...

E : because the level is bouncy..

A : ...

E : can i show you??

A : ok...but what are "you"?..

E : "you" are...a thing

A : (hahahahaha!)

i now know it's a game app called Doodle Jump and "you" are a doodle that looks like a potato squid...

i want iPad..

Wishlist

2011-04-30T02:02:00.002+08:00

i wish i could read minds..to a certain extent..like i can switch it on and off, when i really need some peace of mind..i wish i could let other people read my mind too..when i don't know how to relay something in words..or especially when there's no way something can be described in words..

i wish i could sing to some people..when i want to sing to these people..without feeling nauseously nervous and without over-thinking the "why-s"..

i wish i could get over myself..and get out of my head..and just have more "balls" to do something about stuff..stuff that mean a lot to me..stuff that i'm clearly finding hard to leave be..

i wish i could repeat that window of time..to appreciate it even more..to probably replay it over, and over, and over again..because it made me sincerely happy, whole, giddy and fulfilled..

safe..strong..able...

i wish......a million wishes right now.........

i saw something in the stars that night..strong enough to make me cry..i felt something that gave me light..something i'm sure changed me..something worth fighting for..

so why am i not fighting?..what's wrong with me....

Escapes from Some Kinda Crazy

2011-03-27T05:45:00.014+08:00

1. Zee + Tea + Locanda Locatelli :)

the absolute bomb..zee's visit was timely and Locatelli was an EXPERIENCE..haha!

2. London, Meet & Greet at Bayswater

made some new friends there..was an interesting outing..will definitely appreciate a "re-group" of some sort..t'was fun :)

3. School's Easter Ball

it is incredibly fun to get together every now and then with everyone dressed up, pretty, and just excitably dance-y..i just love 'em..the music and the place that night was pretty good too..

March has been very kind to me :)

~ Now, off to work you! ~

Done (Temporarily)

2011-03-10T09:04:00.001+08:00

4 day breaks are the effing bomb..

I'm gonna mmmmaximizzzzzzeeeee

- i need a doctor, doctor..to be bring me back to life~*

I'm Working Hard, Seriously! :(

2011-03-02T19:28:00.002+08:00

freaking out..

all is good but..matilahhhhh..

it's so susah as it is..just to survive..minimum upper second class?..60% for all modulesss???

piglettssssssss..die die dieeeeee..luckily contract only begins now..but still, i'll probably get an effing warning letter already..dieeeeeeeeeee..

shit..

but i should be going for high grades..if i plan to ever get to do a specific masters or phd..

i'm an idiot!

argghhhhhh..cry.........

The Final Lap

2011-03-02T01:59:00.002+08:00

7 days..

to solitary confinement again..

i'm not so sure that's a good thing anymore..

it gets lonely doesn't it?..

i should be more worried about now..

the next 7 days are crucial!

- success will only come to those who strive for it -

Tea House Cafe

2011-02-27T01:09:00.001+08:00

Had a great day out this morning..the sun was up and blinding which is absolutely fantastic..even the chilly wind at 3 degrees Celsius felt like summer..haha..

Was having lunch at my favourite miso soup noodles cafe and watching Bold Street come to life..there was a range rover looking vehicle side parking by my window and I thought to myself, damn I miss driving..

It's that feeling u get when u vainly think the whole world is watching u struggling to side park, just waiting for u to make a stupid "lady driver" mistake so they can laugh at how horrid ure side parking skills are..

The weird things u miss in life :p

~**~
architecture ; "it is the total environment made visible"
- Suzanne Langer

Innocence..Ignorance..Incompetence..

2011-02-05T06:56:00.002+08:00

salty seas..windy whirls..

it's hard to be..when thoughts unfurl..

needs and wants..hates, despise..

when which is what, where do we start..

utter conviction and perpetual reasons..

are they just lies of the changing seasons?

why disappointment, why despair?

curiously, why is there even care?

hopes and dreams, impulsive whims..

delusions and fancies, of that intangibly there

maybe here? maybe not anywhere..

yet so upset..we do still dare..

to thirst, to crave, unrequited..

to hurt, to bleed, scarred; defeated..

a strangely tasteful disposition..

what will be should be

and what unyielding vagary should be made be

by you.........by me

the satisfying need of an emotional body

the continuous beat of a rhythmic heart

.....ignorance.....

a fresh start.

panic attacks are not for me

2011-02-01T04:59:00.002+08:00

i need to inhale..i need to calm down..i need to not have nervous breakdowns..

i need to manage my emotions..i need to learn how to work well with others..i need to have a healthy hobby..

i need to finish my work early and not just in time..

i need to be an adult.

i need to pray.

i must not loose my mind

Another Day

2010-12-28T08:35:00.001+08:00

Yet another day in London..however, no touristy things have been achieved yet..haha..accept for eating duck in Bayswater..effing A+ man..how will I survive without it now :p

Another new hostel I'm checked into today..it's nice n quiet, compared to the one yesterday..but far too cold, with no hot water to shower at night..sayang..put this environment with yesterdays facilities and u have a winner man..

There's a rat in the kitchen..no, too cute n small to be a rat..a mouse maybe..eee..haha..

Something really bad and embarrassing happened tonight..I cannot explain, but I hope it never happens again..but God sent me an angel to save me then..alhamdulillah..

Wanna wake up early for breakfast tomorrow..n do a bit of work before going out for the day..I really hope I will succeed :)

Ok, laundry's done..until later.

-end-

Boxing Day

2010-12-27T07:00:00.001+08:00

My first boxing day conquests include :

1. Pink Toga Dress

and

2. Storybook!

Hehe..that's it..I think tomorrow may include a couple of yarn balls for my Popo..if I can afford it..n that's it :p

Don't wanna go broke in Paris..

Goodnight!

Great Day for Giving

2010-12-26T08:11:00.002+08:00

i'm in London, with sara-chan and her family..it's been a really nice and homey christmas so far, which is my favourite kind; nice, quite, comfortable and with great company..

this morning will be boxing day as it is past midnight already..we plan to leave really early to hunt for superb bargains and i'll have to make my way to my new bed for 3 nights..i'm starting to get nervous again :p sigh..need to sleep real soon..

i miss my parents and my brother..i wish they were here spending christmas with me..i wish i could be going back to a hotel room with them tomorrow..but that's not the case..sigh..it's still better than staying in Liverpool freaked and alone anyway.. so let's though it out and be more bad ass, yeah!! need to learn to travel on my own..

i also miss madam yaya..haha..it would have been great to meet her in London for christmas..but she deserves a better holiday than being stranded in a freezing airport..so we'll hopefully catch-up in summer, insyaAllah :)

we're letting back-to-back episodes of "southpark" disturb us to sleep..how disturbing is that :p

and a big congratulations to my cousin on her wedding yesterday!..it's unfortunate that i couldn't be there..but still fantastic all in all..i really wish i could teleport right now..someday, this will all be possible..ngahahahahaha..

goodnight dear cyber space..thanks for listening :)

Idle Mind

2010-12-24T05:06:00.003+08:00

do you believe in instincts?..like the ability for your gut to tell you or rather inspire you to feel a certain way about/towards something..even when all the facts and situations are pointing in a completely different direction, your gut just still won't shut up..seriously, what do you do next?..

i wasn't prepared before..but now i know i am..i'm sure of it..i've regained my stability, i have accepted and moved on and i am now able to be rational, i believe..i sound like a chant from one of those self-help books..omg..

i don't know if what i'm feeling is real..i don't know anything anymore..but whatever i do feel is hella strong and it is not going away and i hate it..i hate being this out of control, it's stupid..i should be way past this childish phase of obsession..but instead what i know for sure is that it hurts so damn bad when it breaks into a million pieces in front of me and i can't fix it..and it doesn't effing go away..f***, go away!..i hate reading a blank wall, i hate the scary expanse of open sea..i h a t e i t a l l

but unfortunately this shitty roller-coaster i'm strapped into is the only thing that makes me feel, cornily enough, "alive"..it keeps life interesting..and as much as i hate it, i'm in love with it..what the hell is wrong with me..

maybe it's a good thing to distract myself with travelling..maybe i should just walk away and stay away..but these freakin fantasies are too tempting to ignore..oh God, i'm so pissed at myself right now!

arghhh, this silence in my room is killing me!..and i sound like a freakin psycho..super..

just for the record, i'm not suicidal or anything..and i'm emotionally perfectly fine..maybe doing too "fine" even :p..i'm just having a stupid problem with myself and i can't seem to fix it..i need to stop dreaming and focus..i can't seem to focus..dammit.

Troubled Nerves

2010-12-23T10:20:00.003+08:00

i stopped posting for a while..i actually considered stopping completely..but i succumb to the need for a place to rant my mindless thoughts..somewhere to technically receive and store it without having to give anything back..it's good therapy i think..and it doesn't bother people who don't look for it..

i'm leaving for London in a day..it's 2 am and i'm so nervous i can't sleep..i need to wake up early tomorrow to do a few more things before departing..yet i'm awake, nervous and yawning..

i'm worried about everything..tickets, accommodation, money, unforeseen circumstances, did i forget anything? important documents? blah, blah, blah..i hate it when there's no pre-prepared plan..but i do everything without good pre-planning most of the time..my brother would be so "proud" :p

it's the 1st time i will be travelling technically alone..effing nerve wrecking..ughhhhh..never in my life i thought i would wish to cancel a fun filled fortnight and just stay in my room due to nerves..i thought i was more bad-ass than that..dammit!..

please, oh please God let this be a good and worth-it first trip..i'm so stressedddddd..i can't even concentrate on "Dexter"! i thought an episode would calm me ('0_0') i'm so worriedddddddddddddd..ughh, i'm such a loser..

ok, enough complaining..wish me luck infinite cyber world..please let me come back in one piece, alive, breathing, perfectly well, with all things and limbs intact :p i can't believe i'm typing this shiet..i'm crazy..

goodnight.

October Blues

2010-11-09T09:18:00.003+08:00

so..

it's been a dreadful month..haha..had my first taste of final crit and first project here..omg..who ever said that it's easier to study overseas than at home is dead wrongggggg!!!! i feel as if i've been lied to! :(( it's so tough i want to dieeeeeee..ughhhhhhhh..i feel like such a loser, and like such a boring designer and so uncool compared to everyone else..it's so easy to fall into depression like this..arghhhhhhh..oh man..

on a lighter note, i absolutely LOVE our school workshop..i want to kiss the laser cutter machine!..i want one for myself someday, i'm serious..if i could, i would so spend my holidays there just making stuff for fun..it's such a magical place :) i love it!

ok, story time..i had, i would award it, my worst ever day in my life last Sunday, the 7th of November 2010..

- i slept for only 2 hours the night before

- travelled to Nottingham at 5 in the morning

- arrived in the freezing cold clearly a lost cause and unprepared for the weather

- spent 12hours there doing God knows what to kill time

- arrived back in Liverpool tired and sick at 10pm

- forced myself to attend a party because the host is heaven-sent at 12am

- got my wallet taken form my bag

- had to call home n the bank at 4 in the morning to cancel all cards

- woke up at 11 bitter and hungry

- exploded 4 eggs in my face while preparing breakfast, seriously

- got 1st degree burns for my ignorance

- chelsea lost 2-0

it was so much to take in, in a day..i felt so completely depressed after..

i am now close to being broke..yet i hope to go to London on Wednesday..how will i manage that? let's soon find out..hehe..*sigh sigh sighhhhhhhh*

and btw, i think i've found something..something i feel very strongly for..but i'm still hesitating and i don't know why..but i'm sure i want it, i'm quite serious and ready..but i'm not creating any opportunities, horribly enough, i think i'm messing things up..ugh, whatever..just an addition to my depressive situation i guess..*sigh again*

i should sleep now, i'm babbling..will put up a proper post soon :p

goodnight world..please don't be mean to me anymore, ok?..

thanks in advance.

-end-

edit (23rd December 2010) : Omg, i'm an idiot..i just noticed my post title says "October Blues" instead of "November"..wow, fantastic..lol XD

Quick Week Update

2010-10-02T08:07:00.003+08:00

this is post no.101..i don't feel as if i've published 100 posts, but what the heck..

this past week has been ridiculous..so much has happened and the net was down for a while so now there's a pile up of info flooding my mind that i need to just lash out..

1. Saturday : Bold Street Festival was spent with awesome Chloe n funny Fahmi..most interesting was the stuff we found by the street on sale n in quaint stores..there was a few different food tasting stalls, a stage for homegrown bands, street artists (literally), public participation salsa dancing, drum banging with football tricks guy anddddd i got good quality 2nd hand Dorothy Perkins boots for £3..supreme fun..

2. Monday : Introduction class to Practice Management & Law..i liked how it was presented n am looking forward to the subject..some quotable quotes; "do not use lift in case of fire" - argumentatively speaking, it should be "do not use lift in the event of fire"..how words and its structure can mean different things when not 'written' properly..so much fun..haha..the lecturer asked "who enjoys the writing of contract terms (or something) in architecture?" and there was dead silence..i really wanted to raise my hand, that'll just make me the weirdo, so i had to refrain from getting too excited :p

3. Monday night : Lacuna Coil, live at O2 Academy..i was freakin delirious..enough said.

4. Tuesday : Precedent Study visit, Derwen College @ Shropshire..enlightening stuff..i hope to fuel such an initiative back home someday..it was thought provoking and inspiring for me..and the food they served were prepared by their kitchen with the student themselves involved in production..it was the best berry muffin, cheese sandwich n palak paneer rolls i've ever tasted in my entire life..i would pay a lot for such care n love in the quality :)

5. Wednesday : Site Visits in the morning..it was raining on and off..myself n the camera got all soggy-foggy on the surface..it was cold although i came prepared with a hoodie pull-over..caught-up with Sara at the city centre at around noon..chilled n did some registration stuff till late in the evening..had dinner together with Elia n slept over in their hotel room..

6. Thursday : spent the whole day with Sara, Elia, Auntie n Salam..more registration and settling in stuff got done..met Ken the banker n loved his attitude..was sold at the end of our conversation..settled uni things at the foundation building..went back home in the evening n fried myself rice which turned out quite alright..

7. Friday : with still nothing done for studio, finally opened an account in the morning..got some sort of a start in the noon and attended another induction at 2pm..had lunch after, then continued to complete more tasks in the evening..attended a M'sian icebreakers night for dinner n games, then went walking around unexplored parts of Liverpool with a part-time tour guide n newly made friend Syafiq and the gang (Sara, Salam, Chloe n Fahmi)..

it was a fantastic week..i am now dead tired n hopes to stop slacking off n having too much fun..it's just so difficult to be fully focused in this fabulous city..

am in love with Liverpool :^* :^)

45 is the new 100%

2010-09-25T17:36:00.003+08:00

i'm not sure how it happened exactly, but i completely missed Wednesday last week..like i was so sure it's Friday today, n although everyone was referring to it as Saturday, i was completely unfazed..until about 2.am this morning..shit, i completely missed Wednesday..that's why i thought it was Friday..sigh..

and this matters because i thought i'd still have today to open my bank account and get a mobile plan and pass my passport to the school for verification and meet a NHS consultation slot and lots more! ugh..i feel so stupid......

now all i can do is go to the city centre n get my shoes changed n buy some groceries..wtf man..

a wasted end to the week..

so yesterday was the "pre-introduction"(?) to the MArch course..i freaked out upon arrival..seriously..i was the only freakin asian in the room when i walked in..it's soo freakin racist of me, but it just really scared the crap out of me..but eventually i think it's a good thing though..i forced my way into studying in the UK because i wanted this out-of-the-norm experience..so this is it, n it's a good thing..(n when i say "forced" i really mean it, like i maneuvered everything possible around me to get to this point)..so i guess "be careful what u wish for" really applies..

like, i've always known that i have inferiority issues..so honestly i was disappointed that i didn't make it into Bath or Sheffield for their MArch (they're my top choices), n almost everyone i know who applied for Liverpool got it, so i didn't think much of it..but after yesterday i was like "ok...."..because the way they do it here is that the head of programme chooses his students personally, like he actually vets through all the applications himself, n he's someone who remembers specific parts of peoples portfolios but maybe not their names..

he actually said this to everyone, "i want you all to know that out of 250 applicants only 45 of you made the cut, and you should know that you're here because we think that you're really good and that you would be able to do this course very well"..and that just honestly made me feel like a million bucks..it just made my day..my freakin week even..i don't care if anyone else agrees, but if someone, a practicing professional architect who validates architectural courses internationally to be exact, thinks that i am worth his attention in this unforgiving architectural universe of scrutiny, i am happy..honestly..dramatic..hahahahaha! :p

it also freaked me out how you could cut the competitive tension in the air with a freakin plastic spoon!..like everyone's here to kill it i felt..it was really intimidating..everyone ranged from about 22-25 years of age, so it's a fairly young class..n everyone is at least a head taller than me, even my new found Malaysian friend/studiomate Chloe..sighhhhhhh..freakin short stuff..my elstonian flatmates were joking about how small i was that they're just so afraid when they hug me or accidentally bump me i'll break..geez..i'm so freakin asian ok..damn..hahahaha

on a lighter note, i don't think i'll be hooking up with any of my coursemates..hahahahahahahaha..not that there aren't any good loking ones, like there's freakin loads, apa jenis u nak? cute blonde, edgy dark eyed brunette, jocky looking, chillax long haired grunge, the general handsome ones, yang pendek macam asian pun ada, seriously like anything..it's ridiculous..but like it's soooo tensed, like i can feel it already, the sizing up, the discriminating stares..like hey, i'm doing it too man..it's normal..i think that everyone would just end up hating/respecting each other too much..there's a very fine line between, yeah?..haha..i don't know..but this is a good kind of tension though, i feel that there's a colourful aura to it, not like the usual creepy "i'll stab ur back n with hold information ones" that's familiar..so it's all good so far :)

ok, so this is getting a bit too long..n i still have no photos to break the post into enjoyable portions..so until the next time i feel like writing again :) hopefully by then got photos already..

be happy, don't worry..watagatapittusberry!

- Pittbull & more

Take me Over, Make me Strong

2010-09-22T06:26:00.004+08:00

to rationalize is to be weak, is it..but ultimately it's between urself n God right..justification is irrelevant especially if the law has been spelled out..but realizing or accepting/acknowledging the fact that what u're doing is wrong and wanting to be better when possible is better than not doing anything at all..but it's still not right right, right..sigh..life is hard isn't it..

so easy how we come undone..

Dishwalla - Candleburn..

A New Beginning

2010-09-21T04:08:00.006+08:00

it's my second day in Liverpool and after almost 2 months of silence i'm ready to blog again :)

so i was the butt of a bit of drama when i arrived in Manchester..being the occasionally half deaf person i am, i misheard this senior airport officer who was segregating people arriving into lines..he was saying "non-students" but ofcourse i heard "students"..how dumb right..then i kena marah by him really loudly when i reached the counter..i was so embarrassed, it took me a good half hour to get over it..sigh..but it's alright, i think my face went charcoal black after and the officer that dealt with me i think felt really sorry n was being really nice about it..

i fell asleep on the bus to Liverpool..so i was out cold for like 3/4 of the journey..haha..but as soon as i woke up..the view was just amazing..i really felt like i'm on campus ground u know..with halls, n fields, n departments, n a real-life gothic cathedral..i'm like "oh yeah, this is for real!"..haha!

i'm happy with my room..its size is just right and with the addition of my computer, a small floor mat, toiletries rack n blue tacked photos, soon it's gonna be awesome..

so i'm taking note of how many friends i've made right..haha..i'm just lame like that..whether or not they consider me a friend as well is a separate matter :p n officially it's 10 and counting..yeaahhhhhh!! hahaha

Wendy from China
Michelle from Taiwan
Alex from Romania
Arsene from France
Dikla from Israel
Fahmi from Indonesia
Samad from Spain
Hennah from China
Zheng from China
Irina from Elstonia

cool right! :D..i'm hella proud of myself man..ngehehehe..i'm such a geeeeekkkkkk..sigh..i still find making friends sooo difficult..it's ok, crash course time!

and i'm suffering from some shit ass jet lag at the mo..it's in that stage where it's half cured so i still zombie-size at around 5.30pm but instead of sleeping in up till 4am i'm awake at 9pm, headaches n all..dangit..so Arsene had asked if i wanted to chill n i said i'd really love to after i take a nap n now it's freakin 10pm so he's probably out having fun already..bummerrrrr :(

oh oh, n i passed the School of Architecture building today n i feel it man..like seriously, i FEEL IT!..inspired n all!!..rrroooaaaaaarrrrrr!! hahaha!!!..hope i'll be able to cope..the coolness of everything is kinda intimidating n freakin me out :p haven't met any studio mates yet though..would be really interesting..hmm hmm hmmmmmm

so yeah..everything's going alright as of now..i was feeling a bit emo-ed out this evening..i think homesickness is kicking in :( n everytime i pay for something my brain automatically multiplies by 5 which makes me feel like i don't want to eat anything..hahaha..but if it's considered pound for pound, i think the living cost here is not bad at all..

i also think that some locals tend to be quite racist unintentionally..but who could blame them, it seems like half their country is covered in foreigners..things can get quite lonely n boring if takde kawan, so i think berkawan-kawan is seriously important man..

so i'm experiencing problems uploading anymore photos..dunno why..will put up some stuff in my next post then :) all in all, i'm having a great time..thank God..hopefully it'll carry on this way till whenever..i'm gonna make myself dinner now, goodnight~*

Nightmare at 2.30am

2010-07-08T06:15:00.000+08:00

Ok, I'm agitated and I can't sleep..so I've decided to write this post..

My gut has been quite accurate so far, if I really listened..I felt strongly on the win against Argentina, it was worrying but the winning feeling was there..I was however in denial with Spain and underestimated their slightly inconsistent form..clearly I was wrong and they played really well..

Confession : the day before the world cup began my mom had asked me who I thought would be champions this time around, and my answer was Spain..I didn't share this with anyone else..

I know, I'm such a traitor..

I've been a German fan since we (my wc girlfriends for life!!) started to watch this crazy time stopping worldwide event..it is officially our 3rd wc together n as German fans through n through..I don't even remember how we got about to being German fans but I think it had something to do with Michael Ballack, n the superb skills of Kahn, Lehman, Klose, Lahm, Mertesacker and the rest of the superstar senior team, just to name some favourites..

4 years ago, we being excitable young teens, stitched our own German gear, painted our nails black, red n yellow, even bought matching shoe laces to show our support..unfortunately, in the semis, Germany lost to Italy on penalties..we watched that game on foot for the full duration of 120minutes + + as we couldn't get a table..it was heartbreaking..

Today, history has repeated itself..only involving Spain this time, without penalties or even extra time..and all 3 of us girls were watching in separate venues..without too much German "merchandise" :p (there's a word for it, but I can't seem to dig it out of my brain)

Heartbreaking, again..

I will however admit that Spain was the better team today, with little drama involved in play for both sides..it was the worste Germany has performed in this wc, which did not suck considering they've been tremendous through out, and the best game from Spain so far..their passing was impeccable, aggressive atacking, crazy close-control and great team work..n most importantly, they delivered when it mattered the most..

I had said that if Germany was able to block-out Villa from scoring and prevent an early Spain goal then they would win..I was wrong..they did both n they still lost..

It was a good German team this year..mad young skills..just unfortunately not good enough..n I think Muller being out of the game had caused a big hole in their attacking formation..Klose, Muller, Ozil n Podolski have been playing really well together..I'm in love with Mesut Ozil btw..but am a little disappointed in his last 2 games though..I'm sure he can do better..*sigh..

All in all, my gut is sticking with Spain for champions..let's see if my gut is as accurate as Paul the octopus :p I'm so angry at this animal right now, although I know it's not its fault..sorry Paul, you're my punching bag for the rest of the world cup.

For what it's worth, Los Deutchsland!! Ich denke un dich.

Just Another Day In "Paradise"

2010-07-07T00:57:00.001+08:00

Kena marah today by my brother for coming home late 2 days in a row because of work..sh** man..this sucks..

I can't just leave when I know things are not done..I just can't..nanti cannot sleep thinking about it anyway..same difference..

But I know he's right though, I'm not handling my hand over very well..I need to be more aggressive..I need to completely let go and let them feel the load..then maybe they'll buck up and step up..

I should start thinking about myself and my personal priorities already..

I'm scared man..I feel like I have zero knowledge in my head for September..I'm not ready if I stay like this..I NEED to set my stuff straight man..

Haish..wish me luck :p

July is suppose to be fun dammit!

2010-07-06T02:46:00.000+08:00

Today was an odd day..

It was freezing although the sun was up strikingly bright..

I had enough sleep but felt like I stayed up for 2.30 football that morning..

Ppl just decided to go on emergency leave and left me to die alone..

My boss seemed to have had forgotten some things that started to confuse me n gave me a headache..

I wanted to listen to mellow music again..

Something exploded, literally, as I was crossing towards that direction..luckily I didn't cross the street yet..

Pappa rich was jam packed at 10pm on a Monday night..

I didn't finish work..obviously..I was disappointingly unable to juggle the work load of 3..

I drove back half asleep at 12.30am..

But now I can't sleep.......

Seriously........

:(

Lover Boy

2010-06-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

I want one, and I want one nowwww! Pleaseee???? *big puss-in-boots type eyes*

Omg..Steven Strait is 24 and born on March 23..shiiieeeetttt!! He's like perfect! Lol! But he's freakin married..suck.... :p

Brightest of Sunshines

2010-06-19T01:36:00.001+08:00

Will you miss me when I'm gone?

.....

Because I'm sure I'll miss you heart-breakingly

.....

Would you like to come with me?

.....

Will you still be here when I get back?

.....

I love you so much, from the bottom of my heart, I do.

Bright Blue Star

2010-06-16T00:38:00.001+08:00

There's an awkward girl with an awkward scar..with awkward hair and an awkward guitar..

She loves to laugh and sing her blues..she loves to dance in high-heeled shoes..

She sees the world as it should seem..in her mind only and her awkward dreams..

She sees her life as an endless stream..of days to come and hearts to seam..

She yearns to feel what she longs so much..of faithful winters and autumn's touch..of summer glows and spring's unknowns..to learn again of sticks and stones..

He's standing there in plain view and sight..looking over her, to her left and right..She's invisible....

yet she's alright..she's gonna be perfectly alright..as soon as she finds her way home again..

Goodnight Goodnight

2010-06-09T09:30:00.001+08:00

"I found your finger tips on a glass of wine, do you know you're leaving them all over this heart of mine too..

Ale, Alehandro......"

Want your Bad Romance

2010-06-08T02:43:00.001+08:00

It's 2 am..and I'm still cafeine induced..no more white coffee after 5pm I think..

U make me feel like dancing, I wanna dance the night away! U make me feel like dancing, I feel like dancing (ooh!) dancing (ooh!) dance the night away~*

But I love olives..and Barney is funny..and Robyn is hot..and ted's an architect?..and he is so not "pulling them off", red cowboy boots are just weird..and I want lily's silk vest please?..

Can I be Tamina? Can Dastan be real life?..I've always wanted to be a princess :p like in a weird enchanted world kinda way..like Ariel, or Jasmine, or Belle..eh, is Belle a princess?..but Dastan is totally hotter than prince Eric..

I think Twilight is shallow and indulgent..but Taylor Lautner is super hot..and short cropped hair is so very sexy..

I want Phuket back..I want beach and sea water..I want jet ski and speed boat..I want sun block perfume..

This post is completely mengarut..dammit, I can't sleep..

Hipstamatic's cool yo..

Awesome + Amazing = Awesommazing! XD

2010-06-06T04:46:00.008+08:00

We made this trip in early March this year..i'm only putting up pictures now..because i'm lambat like that :p

Day one : Flight took off at 7.30am Malaysian time..arrived around 9.30 local time..was so glad the hotel had prepared our room and we could check in..we rested a bit, watched something on HBO, then left for a walk..it was a very VERY long walk..but it was super fun :)

Day Two : We booked an Island Tour thing for the day..it was really nice, but really tiring..we had lunch at 3-ish after spending the morning swimming and sweating bullets on the front of a speed boat with no shade..the heat was murderous..which explains the towel on head..Maya Bay isn't as pretty as when it was on The Beach..and most of their corals had died after the Tsunami, which is really sad..but the trip was still extremely scenic..and we shared the unshaded part of the ferry with a group of other excitable Malaysians..they were funny :)

Day Three : We booked an Adventure Tour for the 3rd day..i felt that this was especially worth it..the bus rides took a lot of time though but the activities we had were super!..we rode on elephants, raced on ATV's, went kayak-ing, did the fish spa thing, took photos at james bond island, ate at the muslim fishing village place and made friends with a couple from Shanghai, 3 Singaporeans and a group of Palestinians (i think, they mentioned but i'm not remembering very clearly)..it was great!..this particular tour was worth every cent :)

Day Four : Our flight back was in the evening so we had time for last minute shopping, thai massage, henna tattoo-ing and hair braiding..ah moi lost her lens cap and sors lost an earing..which we later noticed in photos once back home..haha..sors henna tattoo says "solaiyah" in full thai fashion..ah moi got her hair braids..and i got my massage..yeay..

it's also probably "important" to mention that we had air kelapa everyday, even when we were on the kayak, ah moi and sors had mango with sticky rice every day as well and i had seafood fried rice every night..even on the first night, after ah moi and sors fell asleep, i ordered room service :p because food's always important right..hehe..we watched cartoons every morning and movies every other time we were in our room..we also went to indian street every night and watched super hot she-males strut their stuff..they also had a couple of random people doing side street shows here and there..we wanted to watch one of those "shows" but chickened out through better judgement..Phuket was awesome..and i can't wait for our next adventure :)

Dazed & Tired

2010-06-03T17:57:00.000+08:00

Omg..I just grazed someones bumper at a traffic light..all I did was shrug, waved a sorry n drove off..a few hundred metres later it hit me, what in the world was I thinking?..I feel like such a horrible lady driver today..oops :p

My damage was quite minimal..I'm really sorry lady in white kancil..

You're So Rude

2010-05-15T02:00:00.000+08:00

There was this lady at pull and bear..it was her turn to pay at the cashier..she was such a snob, it was annoying..me and this guy behind me had to wait close to half an hour in line behind her..at first I was pissed at the shop attendants for only providing one working cashier..but it was already 9.30 ish on a half hearted Friday night crowd, they had probably just closed the other counter..so, watever lah..but this lady is so thick that she told the cashier to hurry up because "her baby needs to sleep"..I dunno why, I was just so irritated at that statement..the problem is, she was the reason behind the delay..something about exchanging some stuff she had bought with a bunch of other stuff, like 10+ different items, which she had to top up additional ringgits for, which may I add she paid via credit card..lagi lambat..she had to calculate stuff on her phones calculator with her husband, then borrowed the cashiers calculator that got the cashier confused and had to clarify with a superior..she then put on a snubby face and nagged the cashier, then had the cheek to ask her for a new pair of the shoes that she was buying as this cashier is scanning the items into the register..I'm like, what kind of person is this?? N there's 2 more people queing behind u, what the hell is wrong with you?? you should go to the cashier when ure done picking out ur shit and having the other attendants who were at ur disposal on the sales floor to help u get new stuff from the store..how inconsiderate and selfish..I was sooo irritated..what held my patience and made me stay was the look on the cashiers face..I sincerely pitied her..she looked so helpless and worn out I just couldn't walk off..n the bag I wanted, I really liked as well lah..but really kesian this cashier lady..some people really don't know how it feels to be serving people 12 hours a day and have them treat you like kuli batak..it's really not nice..just because your buying and not selling, doesn't make you any better then the person in front of you..these sort of people just add to the supply of anger and negative energy in the world..ishk!..

Crane & Carpets

2010-05-12T10:17:00.000+08:00

Oh my God..horrible dream..this vivid one, I hope to never even come close to reality..so freaky...

Indigo Clay

2010-05-11T00:19:00.000+08:00

If vivid dreams were made to relay futures..then I want this dream to come true..

If intoxication leads to illumination..then illuminate me, please..

If art is music..and music is love..then I would like to defy gravity..

If the heart could speak, then I'd be embarassed to admit my desires and my obsessive nature to yearn..

Hallucinating..visualizing..wanting..centering chakra..materialization commencing??...

The "M" Word

2010-05-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

Happy Mothers Day to all beautiful, wonderful, fantastic & superific moms everywhere!!! (^o^)!! Wooot wooot!!! May all great moms be blessed w good health, happiness and love..amin..

Baa Baa Black Sheep with Jack, Jill and the Hill

2010-05-06T02:48:00.003+08:00

ugh..i lost the name card..yes i did..what a wonderful morning it's turning out to be..

i just got another disappointing reply from a university that i really reallllyyyyy REALLY want to go to..oh my God..it's me, isn't it? ..i don't pray enough..i've been having too much fun..i want it too much, or maybe not enough??..no, no, i wan't it too much..like Rachel said in glee "i want everything too much"..

i'm suppose to be devastated, which i am, but i'm too tired to feel..i'm only still awake because i just finished some office work due today..

i don't know what to feel..despite the countless rejections, life seems to be going in all the right directions..work is great..i love what i'm doing, and what i do is appreciated..that's all that i could hope for..i love my friends..i feel like giving them an XOXOXO just for fun every now and then..my adorable cat is occasionally obedient and oh-so-manja with me..my family is all healthy and well, alhamdulillah..everything is great actually..but i'm just not getting accepted to where i wanna go lah..

oh God..it can only be a sign right?..i dunno lah.....

Now, out of the 8 unis i applied to, the only hope left alive is from UCL (hahahahaha! i've so totally lost hope on this), Liverpool and the correct Sheffield course..sigh.....

Should i just take the Masters without the Part 2?..who knows where that would leave me??..honest question here, i'm really considering that unknown path..uuuuuggghhhhhh..

U know what, i tak larat nak apply for the Aussie ones dah..i don't wanna get rejected anymore!!! (v:__:v) tak sanggup......

To top it all off, i'm emotionally messed up again..it's not my hormones, it's really just me..i'm lost and depressive-ly verging on obsessive again..i'm probably hallucinating, seeing too much into absolutely nothing, and wanting AGAIN..i hate wanting!!..i'm such a loseerrrr..arggghhhhh!!....

i need a holiday..the beaches of Bali are calling to me..i need to centre my chakra..to manage my chi..to visualize the intangible strings of the universe to be as one with what is called me....

i need my pre-planned future back..i feel so unsettled not knowing..

Testing 1 2 3

2010-05-04T23:50:00.001+08:00

Check check, testing 1 2 3..

Ngahahahaha!..

I think I'm infatuated :)

Trials & Tribulation

2010-04-14T19:04:00.003+08:00

You know you must have done something extremely wrong in your life if the "craziest most unexpectedly sad none-sense that's just beyond your control" keeps on happening to you..

i've just went from an extreme high to a depressing low in the period of 3 days..

on monday, the 12th of April 2010, at exactly 3.00pm, i was offered a place in the University of Sheffield..i cannot explained the level of ecstasy i felt as i looked at my inbox rubbing my eyeballs..i couldn't even scream and didn't even know how to react as i sat there staring..eventually i started jumping and hugged my Kakak making weird mumbled screeches as i did..

the first person i called was my brother..then my mom..then someone else that just came to mind at the moment..i was happy..content and in disbelief..my dreams from wayyyyy back when is finally materializing..ya Allah..

then today happened..i got offered for the wrong programme..and i did NOT bloody notice this at all..i had apparently applied for an MA in Architecture Design..which is not an equivalent to a Part 2 qualification..but the thing is, i didn't..as my written, hardcopy form, says MArch in Architecture (RIBA Part 2)..but my online file says the previous..astaghfirullah....

the last time i felt this tense was when i was on the verge of failing my design in Part 5..

oh my God..oh my God..such tribulationnnnnn..

the situation can still be fixed..yes, it's true..it's true..and it will be..i know it willllllll!!..right?...

insyaAllah..oh God, please aid me in fixing this mess..please.....

it's been a while since i seriously majorly cried in public..thank you someone for calling me which forced me to stop immediately..i feel so otak bercelaru right now.......

Recent Ponder..

2010-04-12T18:40:00.002+08:00

what if i'm a hypocrite? then what?..

what if i actually know that what i'm saying / telling is the opposite of what i really feel?..

what if i just don't want to admit it because i'm scared / worried / feeling really stupid / gonna cause stupid situations if i do?..

what if i'm torn between what's the right thing / best thing to do and what i actually really want?..

and what if what i want is stuuupppiidddd???? or i will never geeettttttt?????

oh.

...i wanna count sheep amongst the stars and catch a falling super-sheep-stah...

The End of April is going to be Awesome

2010-04-12T18:23:00.004+08:00

OhMeGOD!! Yeay!!!!

i cant wait!!!

Robert Downey Junior, u are the only 40 something that i will turn so totally slutty for! rarrrrrrrr

Puchong?

2010-04-05T23:29:00.003+08:00

i got lost on the road again today..like seriously lost, to the point i couldn't figure out my bearings and my instincts were zero..

i was doing well for the first 3/4 of the journey, remembering the directions from google maps..then what i imagined to be a regular T-junction turned out to be a raised fly-over on both sides with traffic lights in the middle..it made me panic and i over-shot and freaked out..

then after figuring out how to go about U-turn-ing, i forgot which side of the traffic light i came from and ended up going in circles..thank God for a BHP petrol station with a kind sales person inside, i eventually found my way..

i'm glad i gave myself an hour to get there..i anticipated getting lost, so i reached my destination on-time :) harharhar

then on the way home, something incredible happened..as i had confidently figured out my way back, they closed up the fly-over that would take me to the sunway toll..the one and only LDP fly-over (that i know of lah)..all the cars were directed down and i was like "ehh??"..and ended up going towards Balakong..i wanted to cry..

this is when i gave up with the road signs and called my dad..thank God thank God i had my phone with sufficient battery life..and i'm back home in one piece..

this is the story of my merry monday puchong adventure.

The Skyline of My Heart

2010-04-04T23:19:00.006+08:00

went to ulu langat look out point today..the view was really, seriously pretty..even the food was good and the service superb..will definitely go again! =D

photo credits : owner of the blog on the bottom right

awesome photo :)

Anti Depressants on Cloud Nine

2010-04-03T23:54:00.007+08:00

how can human feelings be so confusing, in such extremes, at the same time?..how can someone be ecstatic and depressed all at once?..how can i be dancing to pitbull and akon in the car and want to burst into tears while singing along?..

i'm kidding myself if i think i'm fine, because clearly i'm not.

upon reflection now, i'm sure i made the right decision..we are worlds a part, my life has no business in his and vice versa..i also don't think that i can forgive, nor forget, some of the things said when we fell through the cracks and especially the ones after it all ended..yes, i will say it in the open now, i think enough grace period has been spent..

i'm still sad, i'm still hurt, and i still haven't fully recovered..worst stilllll, i'm in denial..oh wait, now that i'm admitting it, i guess i'm not anymore?..ugh, whatever..

i received a message today..when i read it, it made me cry..then i realized who the message's from..then i just wanted to go home and bury myself in a pillow..i wish things were different..i wish we were different..but it wasn't and we aren't, and that's that.

i've gotten so used to not having to be alone that it proves to be quite difficult lately..my social awkwardness ratio and random fears have significantly increased..and the past 4 years of being engrossed in such specifics has rendered me a complete geek..i don't know if i'll ever be normal again..seriously..

ironically..i'm still sooooo excitably giddy over an awesom-azing-entertaining yesterday night..and within this hyper edged excitement is when i realize that i haven't fully let go yet..i still behave like i'm somebody's somebody..and that's a habit that'll take time to let go..

thank you so much for everything..but i'm so sorry..

i really want to let go....

i don't want to be mourning anymore

Proud To Be A Workaholic!

2010-03-29T13:36:00.003+08:00

so, i woke up extra late today and rushed to work..only to reach the office to realize today's an off day!! and i got superb parking summore! hahahahahahahahahaha!! i can be so lame..

ps : it's been such a gloomy day today..mendung -> hujan -> mendung -> hujan.......

Rave Black Mini Light Up

2010-03-28T22:05:00.003+08:00

i want, please?..

I Wanna Get Myself A Hookah

2010-03-27T00:19:00.002+08:00

oh..malunya meng-emo seorang diri secara tiba-tiba semalam..(note : post deleted)..too embarrassed to keep it published..have lots of work, but too tired and takde mood to do..i want shisha..haha..will be staying up tonight..and i'm hungry..nak masak maggie....

-end-

Persevere

2010-03-22T23:39:00.003+08:00

when the stars align,

and the world is mine,

is when i want to be,

the best that i can be.

my hopes, my dreams,

my tears and my screams,

will be beautiful,

and oh so powerful.

when the moon shines bright,

though the winds collide,

only heart and mind will tell,

what the physical can't yell.

what will be, will be.

and what i truly want,

is to be

all that i can

I Made It, I Made It~**

2010-03-17T00:39:00.007+08:00

i like this song a lot =)

it makes me feel happy, i don't know why..haha!

feel good song of the month!

mondays aren't so bad

2010-03-16T00:02:00.004+08:00

today was great.

i woke up late..had lunch with the 2 awesome dudettes..looked through photos of the best 4 days i've had..drove to shah alam while singing at the top of my lungs..spent time with a friend i haven't seen for a while..had a catch-up session and reminisced about old times..came home and watched the 2nd half of The Other Boleyn Girl..then watched So You Think You Can Dance over dinner..i say, productive day! :)

tommorrow..reality's back in overdrive..work work work! can't wait for the weekend!..haha

gushy woshy crush crussshhhhh*~*~* ;p

Hollow

2010-03-15T23:32:00.003+08:00

today will be the day of confessions,

for i have to meet my flaws and affections,

i can't want what i can't have.

the dream of dreams are hopes so big,

to fret then is to sleep awake,

how much can a person take...

break.

14/03/2010

2010-03-14T18:18:00.003+08:00

This date in time is dedicated to these awesome people:

Amirah Alsagoff

Justin Yong

Happy Birthday 14th of March-ers!!!!!

Blog Under Renovation

2010-03-13T21:50:00.002+08:00

*due to previous template loading errors..

Always Listen To Your Family Mechanic

2010-03-13T19:46:00.003+08:00

so, my car broke down yesterday in one utama at 11.00pm..somehow, i wasn't surprised and actually couldn't really be bothered because i was just so tired and soooo used to these things happening to me..u know, it's really the stuff u decide to do to/with your car that really leads to total shit up's :p

thank God, soraya called and we hitched a ride..thank God thank God for perfect timing..so today, went to one utama after work and (long story short) got the car jump started and rolling again after much running around..bugger..i had to cash out 40 freakin bucks on parking alone tadi..sooo stuuupppiiidddd..

my laid back-ness and total malas and tak larat state caused me freakin shitty parking fare..whatever..so, the reason behind this blog is to inform anyone who stumbles upon this that if your car unfortunately breaks down in the OU parking lot, please report it straight to any security guard you see, if not you have to pay for parking according to their hourly rates..no matter what time it is because they work 24 hours a day..yeaaahhhhh..so be warned..

-end-

how to summarize 17 ridiculous days?

2010-03-12T02:21:00.002+08:00

i have a lot to say right now..but not at the moment though cause i'm sooo tired..the past 17 days from my last blog post have been amazing~!..i still need time for it all to fully sink in..i'm on cloud nine it's craaazzzzyyy..

i have officially developed a crush..like seriously..hahaha..but it's just one of those silly crushes that you know will most probably just die unattended..no no no, i'm not saying who..hahahahaha..sebab malu kot..wahatever :p

goodnight~* :)

22nd February 2010

2010-02-22T00:53:00.003+08:00

so...

i'll start working again tomorrow..i really want to, but i don't want to as well..hahaha!

long holidays can be very bad for personal productivity man..

hopefully tomorrow will be a good day..hopefully i don't create socially awkward situations again..*sigh..

well new office, here i come.

my (hopefully) last weekday bumming

2010-02-19T15:21:00.004+08:00

eee..kenapa ramai hipokrit ah dalam dunia ni..how do they even go to sleep at night?..whatever..no business of mine anymore..

so, i'm gonna start work at the new office on monday! yeayyyy!!! i can't stand living a useless life anymore..macam nak mati ~(-_-)~ my mind should never be left idle for too long..

i really like my new workplace! it's pretty :) n got proper fittings and comfortable chairs and a notice board! i love notice boards!! and the desktop is super fast and super efficient..i like, i like! the security function at the entrance is really cool too, they take my finger print to open the door..yeah man..i feel like i'm a top secret architectural agent! hahahaha!

i love!! and the best part is my office hours starts at 10am..yes, how cool is that right..aaaahhhhh..and the location no need to say lah, i've got my pappa rich and starbucks to satisfy me everyday..so far, it's really shaping up to be a fantastic decision..

i really hope i will be a great asset to the new company..i also really hope that i will enjoy my working atmosphere and get to explore and expand my abilities as an architectural assistant..high hopes for new chapter in life!! insyaAllah!!

woopeeeeee~*!!!!

at 4 in the morning

2010-02-19T03:39:00.003+08:00

there's a technique developed to heal a wounded heart, faster and more efficient, that prevents recurring attacks as well..it has been proven to be successful in curing broken hearts, resentment, disappointments, loneliness, rejection, hate, sorrow and the likes..

this technique is : t o f o r g e t

the goal is to completely erase any memory of the wounding incident ever happening..if the mind can be seen as a computer that stores experiences in its hardrive, then click on the "folder" and delete..don't forget to empty the recycle bin after..this will prevent recurrence..

s i d e e f f e c t s :

yes, there are..there's a very strong chance that a similar mistake will be made, again, since there is no record of the "negative experience" to refer to..there is also a big chance that some positive memories would be deleted as well as the best way for a total wipe-out is to delete the "folder" in question and not just individual files..the most common side effect would be to completely go blank when people recall memories from the past that should be there but aren't, and a complete detachment from the previous self, unable to process certain information anymore and unable to access certain abilities and functions..

this rebooting system, if performed properly and when necessary only, will give birth to a happier and more positive you..happiness is a state of mind, and everybody deserves to be happy..so let's all have a glass full a day to keep heart aches away..

by Dr Ai Wannah Bihapi from "Painful Things Don't Belong In Me" February 2010

The End of Mr Y by Scarlett Thomas

2010-02-14T17:06:00.006+08:00

This isn't my copy but i like this cover better! :(

have you ever read a book and upon finishing it go "what the freakin f***?"..i would have to say that this is the effect The End of Mr Y had on me..i really don't know what to make of it..i think this is really the first time i literally understand what "mind-boggling" means..but don't get me wrong, i loved it!..it's like 2 parts of an extreme universe forced into 1 ridiculously addictive story..it's like hollow man meets narnia, or if dan brown decided to take a dip in enid blyton's dreams..hmm.. enid blyton, really? maybe more bjork or emily the strange..it's just really weird..

at first i kept on getting headaches trying to understand scarlett thomas's views of the theory of relativity, newtonian physics, the big bang, darwin, einstein, all of the quotes and discussions and "thought experiments" as she calls it..i felt that it was important for me to indulge in order to really enjoy the book..it was very hard, basing on the very shallow knowledge of science i have..hahaha..

and then csi was on, and grissom was explaining (lucky) the theory of relativity in his words, some other important physics fact and string theory..i really like the way he tied the 3 together..it was simple and logical..and i accept it..

as i progressed through the book, i started feeling cold and creepy-ed out that this will turn into a ghost story..i gave up reading horror books a long time ago because i have an uncontrollable obsession to imagine everything i read in "HD" detail which causes sleepless nights and freaky nightmares..but no, i find out later there's no ghosts involved..but there's an oversized talking mouse in a red cape..(wtf???)..

but scarlett then simply explains the logic behind this and i'm satisfied..i don't throw the book away and curse a million profanities..i get it..and now the book starts to blur between real life accounts and fiction..i start to really wonder can "this" really exist?..it's really beyond my self-proclaimed "HD" imagination abilities..for once, i cant imagine what i'm reading..4 dimensional objects, how would that look like?..to see rain falling on you but not feel it or hear it?..to have all things actually be defined by mostly "space"..oooooohhhhhhh...

now this is fun.

then there's that tell-tale hint of "true love" that always (ok, almost always) has to be a part of a female written novel..(sorry, i admit i'm partially sexist).."i'm sorry, but do i know you from somewhere?"..true love myth always includes some sort of deja-vu experience..and i like it, the struggle the main character faces between what she has become and what she really wants to be..or rather with who she feels she deserves to be with..which leads to........*drum-roll*

the ending?..this was where it got to "what the freakin f***?"..it was refreshing, yet totally unexpected..and to be honest, a little hard to swallow..hahahaha..the 1st thing that crossed my mind was, how did she ever get to that? like how did the thought process for the idea behind the book even occur? it's brilliant yet extremely, bogus..i dunno how else to put it..

i have to say, i like the idea of thought having mass and being matter..i like thinking of collected prayer as a form of energy that could either influence "thought" or the creation of something else..i also like to dwell in the possibility of thinking thought into reality by thinking in the language of the universe..that's really nice..

ps : i'm tempted to concoct my own out of body experience using this recipe in the book..but i'm scared..hahahahahaha..i'm so naive..

In The Eye of The Tiger

2010-02-13T20:15:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

May the year of the tiger bring lots of joy, fortune and prosperity!!

InsyaAllah..hehe..

Have A Rrrrroaaaarringgggg (Auuuummm!) Good Year!!!

thinking out-loud

2010-02-12T19:51:00.004+08:00

before i begin, if anyone in mention happens to read this please understand that the below are my thoughts exclusively and i am in no way judging or imposing my opinions on anyone..i understand that i see the world within a different frame as how everyone else does in their own way and no one way of life and decision is either right, wrong, better or worst then the other..i just don't want to offend anybody..that's all.

today i ended up spending the whole day contemplating relationships..i'm always fretting about something, so there's no point in explaining how it all started..i shall start with a tv show i happened to catch during lunch..it was one of those agama forums that has an ustazah explaining to an audience about a chosen topic of the day, and today's topic was "akhlak"..

in a nutshell, it explained how people tend to neglect their relationship with other human beings as oppose to their relationship with God..i've always loved this topic..i liked how she said that; although someone prays 5 times a day, reads the Quran regularly, pays their zakat and conducts qi'amullail every night, if this person is even the slightest bit a lousy neighbour, he/she will not go to heaven..

see how the statement is "will not go to heaven"..but it never says "will go to hell"..so where do this people stand exactly?..it's really intriguing..so it really works both ways right?..

anyway, let's avoid the extremes..

i had a conversation with a good friend today..and she being the very polite person she is asked if it was ok for her to quote an instance involving a former love affair of mine..i thought that was very kind..most people just don't care or assume that you should be ok with it, because it's the sane, logical thing to do..and it is, really..but it was just really nice that she asked first, because no matter how cruel/strong/cold or whatever someone could be, an unsuccessful relationship hovering close to 3 years long and above will strike a cord somewhere deep down within the bowels of even a black hole..just admit it..

as our conversation continued, it struck me why i couldn't stand being in a relationship anymore..does it really have to always be that hard?..i understand that all relationships need to be worked at but really, does it all have to be that hard?..it's depressing..but clearly, these people are honestly and full-heartedly "in love"!..i'm envious and at the same time scared to freakin death..

will i ever love anyone enough to be able to tolerate so much crap from a person?..and when i'm talking about this, i'm referring to a relationship leading to a lifelong commitment in marriage ok..not just a long lived "relationship"..cause i really do believe in the idea of marriage as a whole..i am an idealist, so go figure..

this brings me to another conversation which i had with someone else a week back..i asked him, "when do you consider yourself in-a-relationship with someone?"..he answered "when going out gets to another level of physical-ness that involves snuggling and stuff"..this is not a direct quote cause my memory doesn't store things as well as it should..so i asked "can't a relationship just exist on an emotional level?"..i don't really remember his answer, but i summed it up as a mix of yes-s and no-s..hmm....i also understand that not everyone would think like him..

which leads me to wonder, have i ever read or provided to situations that portrayed misunderstood intentions thus leading to missed opportunities or just plain misunderstandings?..wow....

so where does the line between friendship and "beyond" draw anyway..

i'd like to end by quoting another conversation i had with some beautiful people i'm blessed to have in my life..she said something like "i am in someway attracted to all my friends", and i think i agree with that..i mean ofcourse right?..it seems somewhat so simple..yet.....*ponder*

hmm..this is one randomly long unnecessary post..whatever..this is just me thinking out-loud again..i think i'll go back to reading Mr Y now..

-end-

Ace

2010-02-11T16:27:00.006+08:00

(follow up to previous post)

tak jadi keluar pun hari ni..bodohnya..haha!..

anyways, dramatic end to onepiece574..my dream anime hubby..u are truly my favourite character of the lot..if u've read the title, yes, he really dies..i can't wait to see luffy kick akainu's lava ass..today has not been a very good day....

...RIP Portgas D Ace...

when the moon shines on a thursday night

2010-02-11T15:29:00.003+08:00

i need a buddy to go out tonight!! dangit!..actually i'm fine alone, but i just know that i'll end up in some weird awkward social situation now and again and that'll just menyusahkan my lady theatre friend..noooooooo!!! why am i so socially impared?!!..oh, this sucks..i still really wanna go though cause i havent seen lady theatre friend for so long readyyyy......apa ni........

suck it up alia!! u're gonna have to learn some EQ skills at some point..

u can do this..

deep breaths..*>~~~~~

a foggy-filled wednesday

2010-02-10T13:25:00.005+08:00

a big "HOORAY" to my new fictional adventure! :)

The End of Mr Y is to me a really special bit of indulgent creative writing..it's just full of quirky quotable quotes that i can't help but laugh out loud to..i just love it..i've only started reading yesterday and am currently upon chapter six but already i can't put it down (except for writing here that i love it!)..ms scarlett thomas, you are seriously awesome..

so, i have a confession to make..i've been experiencing a continuous foggy-filled nagging headache every morning to evening, everyday, ever since i can remember..i do remember though the feeling of a clear head during the day but i don't remember the last time i had one..my auntie says that it's most probably caused by sinus, a family trait passed down from generation to generation and i think she's probably right..but recently, it has gone up a notch evolving into a throbbing migraine every now and then, and a sense of nauseous vertigo every other time..i talked to ah moi (the future doc-tah!) about this at rasta the other day with big bob as a witness and at the time thought it was low blood pressure..but i think it is actually just my stupid sinuses..

so i've been observing it right and realized that it really does only happen during the day..i believe it's the cause of me feeling like shit every morning and having such a hard time waking up (nope, i'm not a morning person)..i've never experienced a hang-over before but i believe it would feel a little like my mornings..the fog would thicken into a throbbing migraine by mid-afternoon to the point my eye would twitch and i'd find it hard to keep my eyes open in a ray of reflected sunlight..then it would die down into a nauseous vertigo feel by around 5pm..as soon as maghrib hits, i'll be fine and the fog would have officially lifted..what the hell right..

i have concluded that this is why i work better from midnight onwards as that's when my head is truly crystal clear..so i am evidently a nocturnal creature, sensitive to heat who's constantly physically distressed..yup, that should be about right..

Photographs

2010-02-09T23:29:00.002+08:00

ah moi got me hooked on this song..

i have to admit, i just love rihanna..love her voice and her catchy songs..

i wish i was super talented on the guitar so i can just grab it and play them in acoustic versions..and sing ofcourse..haha..i miss singing..like really singing..outside the bathroom and car..dang......

Rihanna - "Photographs"

my (wacky) mental state :p

2010-02-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

it's official, all applications have been sent and now awaiting arrival and reply..

hopefully it's gonna be a bunch of positive replies..

i have the month off to work on the aussie ones, and scholarship apps should come out by the end of the month through march..

i know i'm hanging on to chance, i'm no first class graduate and i wasn't the star of the design studio or anything but an average jane like me could hope and dream too right?..

i'm in love with life at the moment..just taking each day as it comes..really engulfing every single up and horrible downs of my emotional state and just learning to deal with it..

i've been blessed with the company of some extremely incredible people in my life that i should remind myself i have no reason to complain..

i'm an emotional sucker..i'm in love with some people who will never realize the capacity of which i am able to care for them..i wear my heart on my sleeve yet i am completely incapable of showing people how i truly feel..

i have made countless mistakes in my life that have cost me great friends and more..and it's those beautiful people who accept me for all that i am, without question or prejudice, without the slightest waver and ill concern, expressing the greatest understanding and just unbelievable love, that i really thank God for everyday and silently pray for everyday..

i still choose to be an idealist..i've seen greatness in people and i believe in it..true love really does exist and real friendship really knows no bounds..the world can truly someday be at peace and every thing in existence someday will learn to be as one..i'm sure of it..

laugh at me if you may..but if you truly believe it, you will live to see it :)

Bugger...

2009-12-02T03:38:00.002+08:00

there's so much more left to do..

i have no more money...

i don't know if i can meet my deadline anymore...

i'm under a lot of stress and it doesn't help that there's added tension all of a sudden...

i'm tired and officially depressed...

but i still want this so bad!!!

challenges makes success a lot sweeter?..

i sure hope success is my destiny with this...sigh...

hoping and praying~*

Hopes and Wants

2009-12-01T11:16:00.002+08:00

i'm scared of 3.45pm today...

i wish i could take the whole month off...

i just wanna be left alone sometimes...

i wish i didn't have to wake up to someone yelling at me, twice, this morning...

i wish all this preparation didn't cost so much...

i wish that i will be able to meet my deadline...

why in bloody hell am i so emotional sometimes?...

i wish taylor lautner is 25 and not 17...

i wish taylor lautner was malaysian...

i really wanna go holiday with the girls...

i really hope i get to continue overseas...

i hope that 3.45pm today goes well...

Love is Blind?

2009-11-25T14:25:00.005+08:00

the opposite of love is...

hate?

selfishness?

jealousy?

animosity?

resentment?

annoyance?

utter dislike?

absolute loathing??

nope.

as the saying goes,

the opposite of love is none other then INDIFFERENCE

there's a very thin line between "compromise" and "indifference"..once the line is crossed, there's really no turning back..which serves to be the biggest disappointment in life..it is equivalent to the loss of hope..

hopelessness leads to despair..

despair leads to resentment, anger, and all of the above..thus, the above are all just by-products of indifference.. your mind tells your heart that it's ok to feel which ever way for something you don't want to care about anymore..

or so it seems......

- the fragile emotions of a human soul -

A Withered Rose

2009-11-08T00:59:00.005+08:00

The most beautiful things in life

are those we usually take for granted,

and only appreciate when it's already too late.

Munif was right : I Am the Super Nerd

2009-10-27T18:24:00.005+08:00

today something happened..

i finished my assigned job early and didn't really have anymore "meet-the-deadline" rush-rush thing to do so i went back to updating the supplier library..i already finished keying in the roof inventory into the computer so i decided to do the doors next..

so i sorted out the different categories, types and all that and began reading the catalogues and jotting down the needed information to be uploaded into the computer lah..

long story short, i got to the "Automatic Doors" category..this was like 2 and a half hours into just reading and writing..there was a brand of doors imported from Japan called NABCO..as i was reading it, i found myself giggling like a little kid amazed at the different types of colour coated jelly beans on display..

(if you hate reading about ridiculous architecture-ish stuff that's elaborately boring, please skip/fast forward through this paragraph)

there were like almost 10 different types of different automatic doors! each of the 10 having its own break down of 2-3 different variations! i was like so totally amazed!! the coolest were their collection of automatic revolving doors with the "circle star X" as the prized jewel! wow, i have never seen this door in my life and it's so COOL!! it's like a combination between a revolving door and sliding doors, like what the hell right?! i can't even imagine how it would work if i were walking through it..awesomeness....!!!

so yeah, as all this excitement raced through my head i didn't notice the ridiculous face i was making while giggling into a freakin door catalogue like it was a picture book..i had my mp3 on so i was kind of in my own little world until i thought i saw something moving from the corner of my eye..like that, an imaginary hand smacked my sub-concious telling me to snap out of it..as i was coming back to reality, i think i somewhat remember making weird grunting noises in between giggling earlier..oh my God..

seriously, a big oh my God..i'm in my office kot sitting at the meeting table..now, only God knows what my office mates might have saw and what they thought about it..i noticed someone sort of laughing to themselves, i really hope i wasn't the reason behind it..

i am such a NERD!..

To Tell the World is To Want To Believe

2009-10-19T22:23:00.002+08:00

bismillah..

please dear God,

cure me off this "disability"..i hope to be more productive and reliable all year round..

i hope to have a more stable internal emotional temperament..

i hope to be more positive and stay positive thus experiencing less burn-outs..

i hope to achieve my life's goals and still observe those of my afterlife..

i hope to be a successful adult with good values, positive goals and a fantastic social life..

i love my family, my friends, and those few special people who blur the line between the two..

please also make all their dreams come true..

amin..

Kicking and Screaming!!

2009-10-14T21:48:00.003+08:00

i feel like kicking and screaming right now.. ARGHHHH!!!!!

even my brother's poor laptop is suffering from my stress..it doesn't help that the keyboard is so stuck! i have to slam on the "C" key and "spacebar" everytime i need it! stupid streamyx rosak! i miss by mac! s*** !

it's not like it's been a bad day, but things just aren't really going according to plan today..

1. planned to reach work early - didn't happen (caused by over-sleeping + massive traffic jam)
2. work was a whole new level of dry..i kept on counting down the time..i don't know why..
3. half of my lunch time was spent on waiting for it to be cooked, ALONE..
4. was suppose to go on a solo gym mission today, both pump and combat - didn't happen (thanks to mum's workaholic boss, she didn't even have a proper lunch! how could you..)
5. i stumbled upon something pissy online, trying to suppress...
6. i want to blog also susah because internet my brother keeps on getting stuck!

COME ON!!!!! and i can't run around kicking and screaming..*sigh...

finally, CSI dah start..distract mode -ON-

Sailing on a Flimsy Reality

2009-10-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i posted something...

reason no.1 - life just took a new turn into "work-hood"
reason no.2 - internet at home is down and will be down for a while until i get it fixed, which would probably take ages

i'm so so tired of stressing out..why am i so fickle and gutless when it comes to making decisions?
i over think everything in life and in turn hurt myself and others along the way by procrastinating important decisions!
i'm just sooo tired and unwilling to deal with consequences....

work has been rudely tiring but surprisingly fulfilling..
gym nights have been helping me ease my sorrowful working existence by giving me reason to look forward to something other then staring into a computer screen..
they always say that when you do something you like, work doesn't feel like work anymore..
i beg to differ..work will always be work, because of the repetitious un-breaking cycle it revolves around..
no matter how much fun work is, repetitious cycles are boring, draining, and life-suckingly zombie like..
i can't wait to get back to studying..hahahaha! i am never satisfied in what ever situation i'm in..

i decided to go for a theater production audition the other day..it was one of those "on-a-whim" decisions i made..
i had to prepare 2 monologues and a song..the auditions didn't go as well as i hoped it would have though..haha! nervous!!
but i'm really glad i did it..i don't know if i'll get called back, but either way, i'd definitely go and audition some more..
at least now i know roughly what to expect..and if i do eventually end up getting into a show, then it would be an exciting addition to my daily routine..

i might just get my hair coloured this weekend..depending on how much it's gonna cost me and how long it's gonna take..
and i wanna get coloured contact lenses too..i think i'm going through one of those "spice-up-your-life" phases right now..
i also realized that i get envious, "terasa" and emo-motion way too easily sometimes..even when it's got nothing to do with me..i'm quite the nut-case..

well, this is my update to last me the next week or so i guess..internet, oh internet..please fix yourself if you don't mind?please please please.................

Of Kerja & Raya

2009-09-18T05:41:00.004+08:00

my first week of work has been interesting and quite the cycle i have to learn to get use to..i can never seem to wake up on time, NEVER..not even on my first day..so today, on friday, 18th of september, i decided that i should not sleep after sahur..i'm just too used to waking up at 1.00++pm everyday for the past month or so that waking up at 6.30am is just highly HIGHLY challenging..

office is fun i guess..haha! damn cacat statement..it's very different from my internship place and the standard UiTM atmosphere, but i like it..no one really talks to anyone except if it's about work so the working environment is rather quiet..i actually really like this since i always zone out when i'm doing stuff so at least i don't come off too awkward..i'm the only Muslim girl which is rather difficult actually, sembahyang and all, but i'm getting along lah..i'm sitting at a diagonal position behind my direct supervisor which is stressful sometimes since he'll observe me doing work just to see if i'm competent enough..the a/c in the office is always so damn cold so i'm always thirsty and my skin is peeling..but better freezing cold than smelting hot right? with the smell of sweat and everything..i'm contented..

oh, oh! and i have to help pick up the phone too sometimes if the secretary and subha, my table neighbour, is busy..i love answering the phone!.."hello/good morning, *** architect.."..hahahahaha..so fun!..i feel all grown-up-working-person already :D

so today i have to be at the office at 8.00am at least, since my supervisor wants me to submit stuff at 10.00am..there's not much left to do, but just in case something stupid happens it's better if i get there earlier..i'm quite scared actually..well, also today every other Malay person in the office is on leave already, so it's gonna be an extra quiet day today..*mental note: must bring ipod*..

haih..ultimately, i cannot wait for raya!!! thank God i slithered my way from giving duit raya this year..hahaha..yalah, baru work 1 week..i have no money to upfront first..sorry ah muh cousins, tahun depan extra sikit lah..make up for this year..HAPPY HARI RAYA EVERYBODY!! may this year be extra special and extra BEST for everyone!! ameen..Maaf Zahir & Batin..

next week..

2009-09-11T16:59:00.002+08:00

the guy from the architecture firm called, so i'm gonna be reporting in for duty on monday at freakin 8.30am..oh my..awalnya office hours..

am i excited? hmm..50-50 i guess..i'm not done holiday-ing yet actually..harharhar!

most of my uni friends are already doing something important with their lives and my brain has officially went back to zero so it's probably the right time to kick start my "new era" in life..

so starting next week my everyday life cycle, sleep cycle, social activities and gym time table will officially re-schedule itself..not forgetting that i haven't done sh** for my part 2 applications..hehe..oh, and i'm still owing a few people their books!..oh my oh my..i'm such an idiot sometimes..

well, i have the weekend to do something about it..so yeah, i really should do something about all this..*psych myself*

plus, i should also be revising some basic construction knowledge and such so that i wont come off as an idiot on my first day..so...where did i put my books again?..hmm......*search search*

oh well, here goes the beginning of the end of my "careless-anak-bongsu" phase of life..may what comes next be exciting, fulfilling and attitude changing for the better..insyaAllah....

you spin my head right round, right round, like a record baby right round, round, round

Laparnya...

2009-09-09T01:33:00.004+08:00

it is 1.40am and i am so SO HUNGRY...

there's nothing to eat at home, how am i to survive...

when i finally found cheezels stashed away at the back of the cupboard, i now know why it was there.....

BBQ Cheese Flavour!!?? who the heck came up with that!?? tak sedap!!!! :(

*laparnya~* sob sob sob....

Money, money, money, money....

2009-09-04T16:51:00.002+08:00

Things/Stuff i want to save up for :-

1. piano classes (RM90 a month)

2. piano-keyboard-thing (RM2990)

3. a Canon D1000 (RM2200)

*because it's the only one that can be considered affordable

4. shopping (RM500 every 2 months)

5. an iTrip (RM350)

6. home hair-styling set (RM190)

7. ori anti-virus (RM79)

8. external hard drive (RM320)

9. budget for portfolio and uni apps (RM500)

*omg, i listed this last :p teruknya...

Wow, now that i look at it..that's a lot of money..oh dear..haha..maybe i'll miss 1 or 2 from the list..well, what ever..i have slightly less than a year to accomplish all of this..insyaAllah..ike ike!!! i can do it!!!

In Response to Enraging Incident

2009-08-30T23:17:00.003+08:00

What i wish to write in this particular post are my deepest thoughts that i have only shared with one person so far..i consider myself still extremely shallow in the knowledge of life and religion, and admit that i am in no way "pious" enough to make bold statements about "them"..what i wish to express are my worries and my pondering mind that is searching for an answer..one i accept i may only find in the next life..hu Allah hu alam..

forgive me if what i write here today offends or makes anybody uncomfortable and posts questions about my faith and "understanding"..i assure u that my faith is not shaken and i only ponder because what i observe in this world today is....is what was already written? i guess...

insyaAllah, my heart is in the right place..this is no "ajaran sesat" type post k..take it or leave it..

....................................................................................

"But religion is more than rite and ritual. There is what the rite and ritual stand for......"

"When i corrected her, i told her that in fact she was not so wrong; that Hindus in their capacity for love, are indeed hairless Christians, just as Muslims, in the way they see God in everything, are bearded Hindus, and Christians, in their devotion to God, are hat-wearing Muslims."

- Life of Pi (Yann Martel)

From what i understand,

Religion is a release, a way of life, a form of devotion that gives us sanity in understanding our existence and reason for life..

Science is knowledge that explains the order of everything that exists in life and how it all co-relates to each other..which gives birth to logic, which can also be considered rational..

i believe that everything in life can be rationalized, can be understood and can be solved..it's just a matter of timing and inspiration..but in order for everything to make sense, a person needs to WANT to rationalize, to understand, and to solve..i completely believe that with rational, people will understand, and all conflicts in the world can be resolved.

Humans were born with the ability to rationalize..to produce logic..that is our gift..we were also all born as one species, in one category, with the same characteristics and needs in life..with also the same function and the same progressive route of survival..

so what about specialty? what about exclusiveness? hierarchy and social strata???

all things need to exist in order for life to achieve balance..it is inevitable..i accept that.

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS IS WHAT I DON'T ACCEPT.

Life is filled with doubt..doubt is what keeps us on our toes..the reason why we occasionally question ourself..the reason why we reflect, learn and search for the truth..for knowledge..whether academic, social or spiritual..self-righteousness is equivalent to IGNORANCE..stupid people are not the worst form of humans, it is ignorant people who are..

Ignorance leads to selfishness..you only choose to want to know, to believe, and to accept things that only you want..only things that are to your benefit..because understanding completely is just too difficult..but does that make it right?

this ludacris thought process gives birth to instances like:

"i can build my mosques everywhere and turn on my speakers as loud as possible because my muslim brothers need to hear the azan and you kafir people need to be dakwah-ed to" BUT "if you dare think of building a temple in my territory i will dismember a sacred symbol and kill anyone who tries"

"i am so much more muslim than you are, it's too bad that you were born non-muslim, i guess i'm going to heaven and you're going to hell"

"saudara baru? it's too late now..anyway, it's not my problem that you don't know how to perform your prayers and read the Quran..go find help somewhere else lah, there's PERKIM right..it's hard enough for me to keep myself out of hell."

"no, i am never wrong. because i am a hijab wearing, 5 times a day praying, abiding muslim..because i am fantastic in my relationship towards God that i don't care about my relationship with everyone else around me."

i'm sorry if i'm too crude and blatant..but there's too much of this happening today, it irks every bit of life in me..this "save myself and screw everyone else" attitude..this "i am so much better than you", "who is more "holier"" attitude..what is all this?? this is not Islam..i don't have to be a Muslim to know that!

it's not surprising that the number of atheists grow by the day..it is not surprising that more and more people stray away from religion..it is even understandable to me how people have questioned religion and the existence of God..

it is not religion that plague people from progress, rational, humanity and "science"..not religion that cause people to hate, to kill, to divide and be prejudice..

it is people that infect religion to been seen as a plague.

shame on "PEOPLE"

Enraging Incident

2009-08-30T23:11:00.003+08:00

a note written by a dear friend, elza irdalynna, which i wish to share..

..................................................................

"Ya Allah", I cried.

A group of very confused (I use this term because that would be the kindest thing I can say about them), misled Muslims, claiming to be residents of Section 23 in Shah Alam marched to the State Secretariat with a desecrated cow's head in protest over the relocation of a Hindu temple in their area. Chanting threats of bloodshed, and accusing the State Government of being liberal infidels.

On a Friday.

After Friday prayers.

In the Holy month of Ramadhan.

As I read this, my heart was enraged. And felt so much pity for these lost lambs. Their complaint was that this is a "90% Muslim area" and the "noise" made by the temple proceedings would disrupt their Islamic rituals.

Who are you kidding? This is simple racism. This has nothing to do with disrupt of your prayers. Because if prayers are what you're truly concerned about, that suggests you're men of God. Which SHOULD mean you understand Islam, or at least basic Islamic history. WHICH YOU DO NOT.

When the Prophet and his people moved to Madinah, in the Pledge of Aqaba, between Jews of Madina and the pilgrims states:

“The Jews shall maintain their own religion and the Muslims theirs. Loyalty is a protection against treachery. The close friends of Jews are as themselves. None of them shall go out on a military expedition except with the permission of Muhammad, but he shall not be prevented from taking revenge for a wound."

It was agreed then they were allowed to practice any religion of choice, in peace. This was the teaching of the Prophet.

I learnt this when I was 12. Tolerance, and harmony. 1Malaysia is not a new idea. Unity was called for long ago. Unity does not mean uniformity, but to stand together in spite of our differences.

The people of Sentul can protest that the Azan is disrupting their rituals. But they do not.
I've seen non- Muslim butchers learn the way of Slaughtering the Islamic way, all so we Muslims can eat with our peace of mind intact.

Why then, is it so difficult for us Muslims to do the same? Why are we so caught up with KeMelayuan and exclusivity of Islam to the point where we call for BLOODSHED?

Their beliefs differ. But if they can accept our differences, why cant we accept theirs? This is not the way of Islam. You know who punished people for their different religious practice?

The people of Quraisy. We now,are behaving in the same way of the very Infidels that the Prophet had to battle in order to save Islam.

What's being done now? We are a few days shy of Independence Day. Of Nuzul Quran.
What's being said in the speeches during Terawih? Have our leaders in religion called for Unity against this mindless brutality?

Why has the government, who so often resort to ISA for ridiculous reasons, not threatened to do the same with these people, who are blatantly inciting hate and racism?

I fear we live in a time where intolerance has become louder than humanity and compassion.
I weep over the fact that I share the name of a group of people who continuously disgrace Islam.
I call for help.

Something must be done.

Back & Unwell

2009-08-26T00:51:00.002+08:00

i'm back..to real life and boring reality... :p boo!!

haha..bandung was awesome..wished we had more time to finish shopping..i actually left some stuff out that i really really REALLY wanted but tak sempat nak patah balik to get..i so regret!!!

will seriously make the - plan for a "return-to-bandung" trip - happen..MUST!!!

am now sick..coughing, running nose, lethargy, the works..but not H1N1 though, alhamdullilah..had to check with the doctor on monday..(lucky)..

will be offline for a while..until i regain my "un-lazy-ness"........ :p

for now, sleep.....zzzzZZZZZ

Shut Up and Drive

2009-08-14T23:01:00.002+08:00

i like driving with the window down..i get to feel the wind on my face and in my hair..hear the sound of it and cars rushing by..air-conditioning usually gives me cold shivers and a dry feeling in my throat anyway..one problem about driving with the window down though, i can't hear the music on the radio..oh ya, and the air usually smells quite bad in malaysia..unless if it just rained..

but once i get on the highway, i guess i'll just blast my radio as loud as i need to..no one can hear me then anyway..

it's crazy how fast people drive on highways sometimes..i feel like an idiot when i'm driving to the speed limit..and everyone else will make me feel like i'm a useless slow-poke crowding the long stretch of bitumen and tar..eee..i get nervous when i'm speeding..

life is kinda like driving on a highway, kan..everyone is moving so fast..sometimes you don't know how fast you're going because you're pacing yourself with everyone else..it's so tiring.."people" in this context being "cars" just flash by..sometimes we follow sometimes we lead..

i think i'm experiencing a burn out..my engine's rusty from the long hauls..it seems i haven't been replacing my black oil as frequently as i should..the window's down, and the air is rushing in..adding to the weight as i still drive on ahead..everyone is moving so fast..everyone is passing by..the radiator is almost dry, and there's smoke bellowing from the hood..but i still can't stop, because my destination is still far away..and all these cars are passing me by..

it won't be too long before i catch on fire....then "boom" goes my engine?..

A Shameless Covers Night, PJLA

2009-08-08T00:43:00.003+08:00

it was awesome!!!!

i'm so glad soraya ajak-ed me to go..it was really really good..RM25 worth spent..hehe..

as we were discussing in the car, we haven't done this for a while..and i miss it so bad..both the music and company were great..an enjoyable girls night out! :D..

let's talk about the show a little;

i recorded most of the show on my phone (audio only lah) and will be finding a way to post them right soon..but i missed the 2 opening songs and the 1st one after the intermission (sayang nya!!)..was just so mesmerized, didn't want to record half-way, tak syok :p..

they covered songs like "water runs dry", "kiss from a rose on the grave", "jaded", "creep", "you ought'a know", "salvation" and a few unexpected memories like "pinky and the brain", "appollo wafer advert", "ghostbusters" and my ultimate favourite, "captain planet".

i so am not doing the show justice with the list above, but as soon as i get the recordings straightened out i'm definitely posting the full song list..it was just really awesome..

i guess i especially loved it because these were songs i grew up listening..it was like primary school all over again..the 90's feva..yeah!! :p

all 4 of them were fantastic..i was especially impressed by melina and zalila..

melina is just super talented, she can play almost any instrument perfectly and her rockstar voice is just so cool :)..i had never heard or seen zalila perform before tonight, but she is one fun person!..she plays with so much soul and you can just see her enjoying herself while performing..it's just so memberangsangkan!..mia palencia is as usual the unbelievable vocalist that she is, and she can rap pretty well too..haha!..i felt that her choice of covers were those i could relate to the most..and ofcourse, reza salleh..adorable personality and easily (to me) one of the best male artist malaysia has ever seen..i am so very the bangga :)

hope to see more of their shows soon

will definitely continue my support!!

Statement of Realisation

2009-08-06T19:28:00.005+08:00

The quality of a "friendship" is not defined by the number of years it has existed, rather more through choices made in experiences together..agree?..

a person can be in close contact and proximity to another person for years but not be "friends"..

two or more people can be "friends" for decades and not know anything about each other..

on the other hand, a complete stranger can spare 5 minutes in their life to express respect, acknowledgement, care and humanity..enough to be considered a "friend" right?..

sadly i feel that people can call each other "friends" and completely misunderstand the concept..what has happened to the term "friendship"..i hate people who misuse it to gain for their own selfish benefits..

the world doesn't have to be that cold..bonds between people are meant to be more than just means of survival..true "friendship" is a gift to be nurtured..

A True Malaysian

2009-08-01T22:03:00.004+08:00

She's such a beautiful person..someone full of love and understanding..someone who clearly knew what was important in life..not afraid to live a life she truly believes in..not afraid to be the exception..i have so much respect for her..

i don't know her personally..i don't even know her from a far..but i wished i did..i wished i could have at least had a small conversation with such a fantastic individual..maybe sometime in the next life?..insyaAllah..

i wish only all good things for her..and i wish her all the best in the next life..i wish that i could be half the daughter she was to her parents..i wish she didn't have to go through the conflicts she did in life..i wish everyone could follow in her lead and not judge everyone else just because..

i want to be someone as strong as her..and i want to be someone as moving as her..and i hope someday, i can share my thoughts and ideals with the world like her..i wish there were more people who saw the world like her..

again, i only wish good things for her..she is truly special..

AY Yasmin Ahmad

1958 - 2009

i love this picture of her the most

Baby Steps : Barley Notebooks is born..hehe :)

2009-08-01T15:52:00.006+08:00

i finally did it..the blog-shop i've been dreaming of setting up since 3 years ago is finally finished..i really don't know where it's headed n whether or not it'll be successful, but the best advice i've been given is "the best way to start something sometimes is to just get started"..so i got started..i'm still owing a few people some books, which i will be submitting to s.alam next week, insyaAllah..apologies for taking too long..it is completely my fault for under-estimating my final year expectations..i'm an idiot..

i got sick again yesterday, which hindered my plans a little bit..oh well..but i have to make up for it today i guess..i couldn't even fulfill my promise to call shazato yesterday..so i should call her rite after i finish writing this blog..

all in all, i really hope my blog-shop reaches the target market i'm aiming for..still slowly learning about how to market it properly though..and i hope everyone who visits the website enjoys browsing through it..i put so much effort into making it!! hehe..

well, i'll just hope for the best :)

About Barley Notebooks

www.barleynotebooks.blogspot.com

Barley is an online store specializing in selling and customizing notebooks and paper products. We offer hand-made items such as notebooks, card-holders, photo albums, organizers, cd-cases and much more at affordable prices. All Barley products are one-of-a-kind and made customizable to suite each person and event.

Barley started off as an idea to pursue hand-made notebooks as a commercial item. In the beginning, Barley customized notebooks for friends and family members as a hobby. Now, Barley hopes to go commercial.

Moving On..??

2009-07-30T23:26:00.003+08:00

wah, ever since soraya's back this 2 weeks (2 rite?), my days have been filled with lots of activities again :) hee..have been seeing munif less though *sad :'( but he's been really busy training and all and it's best that i don't disturb him much i guess..not like i'm helping the situation if he come's over anyway rite..i'm no good at helping him train...so sad...

i really should start on my portfolio..am expecting to work after raya, but have to actually get a job first rite..aih..which proves to be quite a task for a lot of people at the moment..wow, am i relaxed..horrible alia, horrible...

doing "nothing" is beginning to annoy me already :p..i'm bored of doing nothing..i'm ready to move on and get a job..i need a constant amount of money already anyway..am eating into my savings and that's really not a good thing...

urgh!! i know i have to start getting off my lazy @s& and start preparing for the next chapter, which is work! but i'm in denial!! i don't want to, but i want to, but i malas!

oh my God..help me please :(

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

2009-07-28T01:43:00.005+08:00

i was driving on the way back home with my mom from KL..frazzled and tired from yet another day of careless KL exploring..as i was drifting into autopilot, my mom turned up the volume of the radio that was on Light & Easy..the sound of a piano playing..a lovely voice accompanying the melody..a beautifully written song....

i fell in love at first listen...

The "top 10" Lists

2009-07-15T23:02:00.025+08:00

Since i was discussing this with a friend this afternoon, i thought might as well i put it on blog for future references and such..it may just be helpful to someone who stumbles upon it :)

All the information below are rankings that are pretty much accepted internationally..a reminder that the list is focused to architecture in particular, means that the list ranks the universities based on their architectural courses only k..

i focused on 3 countries; United Kingdom, Australia, and United States..don't ask me why, it's just a matter of personal interest :p..

Top 10 Architecture Schools in the UK

quoted from Guardian.co.uk

2009(Preliminary) 2008(Final)

1. Cambridge 1. Cambridge

2. UCL 2. UCL

3. Cardiff 3. Strathclyde

4. Bath 4. Bath

5. Newcastle 5. Cardiff

6. Nottingham 6. Glasgow Sc. of Art

7. Edinburgh 7. Sheffield

8. Liverpool 8. Edinburgh

9. Manchester Sc. of Arch. 9. Manchester/MMU

10. Sheffield 10. Oxford Brookes

Top 10 Architecture Schools in Australia

quoted from Archsoc.com

2009 (Preliminary) 2008(Final)

1. Queensland U. sorry, i couldn't get

2. Melbourne U. them :(

3. Tasmania U.

4. RMIT

5. Newcastle U.

6. New South Wales U.

7. Adelaide U.

8. Sydney Tech. U.

9. Deakin U.

10. Sydney U.

Top 10 Architecture Schools in the US

(2008-Final)

quoted from Architectmagazine.com

Undergraduate Sc. Graduate Sc.

1. Virginia Polytech. 1. Harvard

2. Cornell 2. MIT

3. Syracus 3. Columbia U.

4. California Polytech. 4. Cornell

5. Cincinnati U. 5. Washington St. Louis

6. Texas Austin U. 6. Virginia Polytech.

7. Carnegie Mellon 7. Cincinnati

8. Kansas State U. 8. Michigan

9. Penn State U. 9. Berkeley California

10. Pratt Institute 10. Clemson/Rice/Texas Austin

Reflection

2009-07-11T22:27:00.004+08:00

i decided to attend a wedding this afternoon, a friend's family member was getting married and she invited me quite nicely on facebook..so despite my mom questioning my reason for going, i decided to go anyway..

thing is, there was some history between me and this friend and it doesn't help that the group of other invited guests are mostly also not in my close circle of friends..this shouldn't be a problem, but i seem to have had developed some relationships in school that left a kind of bitter taste in the mouth..so, explains my mom's curiosity for me wanting to go all of a sudden..

honestly, i don't really know why i was so adamant..but i went anyway lah..

so i went with one of my closest friend, as she was invited as well..and as we entered the venue seeing my friend's parents and all, i gave myself a pat on the back as i still remembered how most of her family members look as the last i saw them were ages ago..haha..

ok, long story short..we salam-salam-ed, makan-makan, cakap-cakap, photo-photo and then said our goodbyes and left lah..

what i deduced from the whole evening was that i am honestly and utterly contented with my life right now and i am so thankful that i am way way from who i was in the past..

well, i am thankful for the opportunities that i was presented at school but i guess good company and just a simply "rich" and moderately blessed life is way happier and healthier..haha!..

i don't feel the need to impress or fulfill every single person around me anymore..and it reminds me that the few people i do really appreciate in life deserve a little TLC every now and then, just to remind them how special they are..i am also at peace with the fact that not all relationships were meant to bloom into beautiful roses that need protection, that the term acquaintance was created for a reason, and that sadly not everyone can be called a friend..so painful..but it's the bitter reality of things huh..i think i can learn to accept that.. :p

-end-

Getting Crafty !! :D

2009-07-07T22:05:00.008+08:00

i stumbled upon a really cool website that offers crafters a lot of video tutorials, step-by-step guides and just awesome ideas on getting crafty :D there's really a lot to get into and i've been browsing through for hours already and still can't stop..i'm so addicted!..plus, the website is really easy to navigate around and looks good too..hee..

do check it out if interested in d.i.y stuff and eco-friendly, reuse, recycle! nonsense..hehe..

some of the cooler stuff i'm hung up on:

d.i.y recycled business cards!!

home-made eco-labels!!

recycled button coasters!!

wah..so cool..and there's so much more!! all eco-inclined and considerably easy..and all free free FREE !! it makes me very happy..hehehe..the website is so inspiring, i'm going crazy :p

#@%*!!

Click the link to check it out! :)

Crafting A Green World

http://craftingagreenworld.com/

Would i Have Done The Same?

2009-07-02T20:58:00.003+08:00

i received this msg from a friend on facebook, and thought it was something worth sharing..it moved me to tears (although i easily get teary eyed over these things) but to think there are still such people in the world makes me happy..

please read on ok..

from Cat Juan,

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued.

I believe that when a child like Shay,who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer.

He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things' yet most of the time we often neglect it.

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

How do we play a part in treating the less fortunate in our society?

:) May your day, be a Shay Day.

Something From A Friend i Found Interesting To Do From Facebook..boredommm..

2009-06-25T18:46:00.004+08:00

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah :

~~ mereka yang saya cuba untuk tidak bergaul dengan lagi..

2. Saya sedang mendengar :
~~ bunyi kakak masak kat dapur..

3. Mungkin saya patut :
~~ pergi sembahyang asar skrg sbb nak masuk kul 7 dah..

4. Saya suka :
~~ makan makanan sedap..

5.Sahabat-sahabat baik saya:
~~ amat dirindui sekarang..insyaAllah kami akan bjumpa very soon :)

6.Saya tak paham :
~~ kenapa ada orang yang pelik2 dalam dunia ni..mcm mana diorang boleh betindak dengan begitu kurang hajarnya tanpa belas kasihan atau perasaan sikit pun..tak pikir pun kalau orang lain buat kat diorang mesti diorang pun sakit gak..ish..

7.Saya kehilangan :
~~ beberapa benda yang amat penting sesuatu ketika dahulu yang sehingga kini saya belum dapat maafkan pencurinya itu..

8.Ramai yang berkata :
~~ saya ni lembab..apakan daya, memang betul pun kot..tapi saya tetap mencuba....

9.Makna nama saya :
~~ cahaya yang tertinggi

10.Cinta itu adalah :
~~ sesuatu yang buta, ganjil dan tiba-tiba..tapi hasilnya selalunya indah sangat..kalau sabar, mesti akan jumpa yg sesuai

11.Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang :
~~ makan makanan yang sangat sedap!! nak gak!!!!!

12.Saya akan cuba :
~~ menjadi seseorang yang lebih produktif di hari2 yang akan datang

13.Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud :
~~ sesuatu yang menakutkan.....

14.Telefon bimbit saya :
~~ memerlukan gaya kulit yang baru :)

15.Bila saya terjaga dari tidur :
~~ saya tidur balik biasanya...

16.Saya paling meluat apabila :
~~ melihat aksi2 sekalian orang yang bengong kekadang

17.Pesta/Parti adalah :
~~ sesuatu tempat yang melahirkan perasaan-perasaan nervous, penat, pening, ngantuk, insecure dan bnyk lagi

18.Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah :
~~ kucing saya berkuasa super gemuk dan gebu yang diberi nama Jewel.

19.Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah :
~~ ntahlah.....

20.Hari ini :
~~ saya kena saman dengan polis..ceit..

21.Malam ini saya akan :
~~ makan malam dgn mak ayah n tgk tv sampai time tidur..

22.Esok pula saya akan :
~~ pegi campus di waktu pagi kemudian pegi makan petang tu insyaAllah..

23.Saya betul-betul inginkan :
~~ melihat ibu bapa saya bangga dan gembira dengan saya dan dapat memberikan apa sahaja yang diinginkan dan kami sekeluarga gembira dan kawan2 baik saya semua pun gembira dan berjaya dan saya bkahwin dgn kekasih saya mumut dan kami ada anak2 yg comel2 dan kami memiliki sebuah rumah mewah di tepi pantai dan kami berjaya dan kaya raya dan bahagia dan halal kelakuan semua..yes! amin....

24.Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini :
~~ saya tak suka sangat tengok cermin...

25.Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan :
~~ adalah tempat beriadah harian

26.Makanan Barat atau Jepun :
~~ sesungguhnya makanan jepun di sushi zanmai sangat sedap yang amat!!!!! silalah cuba jika belum

27.Bilik yang terang atau gelap :
~~ masihlah sesuatu ruangan untuk saya tidur dan melepak dangan jayanya

28.Makanan segera adalah :
~~ sesuatu yang saya dah amat bosan dengan

29.Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
~~ "kakak, abang kata tak makan malam ni!"..

30.Siapa yang anda mahu Tag?
~~ tade siapa, sebab saya tulis balik benda ni dalam blog :p

Frustrated

2009-06-25T16:51:00.004+08:00

i know i'm not supposed to be pissed about this since it was my fault and it was an obstruction of traffic somewhat..but i am anyway!!..section 14 is a stupid place when it comes to parking!!..theres no where to park, and stupid jaya33 charges are so bloody cekik darah how can i not give up and park illegally!!..hish..i double parked behind some person and left my number on the windscreen for him/her to call

if that person needs me to remove my car, but they obviously didnt! then bajet menyusahkan diri reverse menyenget and get me summoned by the cops!! polis ok, bukan JPJ!! IDIOT!! dah lah susahkan diri, for what??!! it's stupid section 14 lah, cannot work together on things ke?..i feel like a horrible driver now, thats why i left my bloody phone number on the windscreen!!..eeeeee!!!!

why.......and i only have myself to blame :( *sniff sniff

Animation Addiction

2009-06-23T23:47:00.023+08:00

my top 10 personal anime favs (as of today lah) :-

1. one piece

2. naruto

3. nodame cantabile

4. gantz

5. 3 x 3 eyes

6. yu yu hakusho

7. bleach

8. cooking master boy

9. slam dunk

10. yakitate!! japan

The "no topic" Post

2009-06-23T23:19:00.003+08:00

i've found myself in a position many many many times where i really want to update my blog but have nothing to say..i thought i was someone who couldn't shut up..geez..

in order to fill my mind during blackouts such as tonight, i'm writing myself a list of general topics to refer to..(if i write this on a paper of any sort, i'd probably loose it and have to do it all over again..by then i forgot all the topics ready =s)

my ten random topics:-

1. anime (one piece, bleach, naruto, nodame, gantz, n much much more!!)

2. social ills and issues (bad drivers!!, ppl who litter!, rude #%! ppl!!, n more)

3. techno crap (mac products, modern day cool gadgets, etc)

4. fashion? haha! (shoes!!!, clothes, bags, accessories, etc)

5. food!! (nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum!!)

6. arts and crafts (industri kraf tangan desa :D..hehe)

7. movies! (transformers tommorrow, yeay yeay!)

8. poetry, plays and performances (want to poyo2 be a thespian lah konon..hehe)

9. music..hmm...hehehe (munif is saying "poyo!"..hahaha!)

10. architecture (since it's my major, i guess i shud, huh :p)

Strings, Wind Pipes and Reverberating Colours

2009-06-16T22:41:00.002+08:00

i finally bought a classical compilation cd!..yeay..been wanting one for some time now, ever since i watched "Nodame Cantabile" on animax..hehe..

the cd is called "Unforgettable Classics : The Most Unforgettable Mellow Classics Ever" from One Utama MPH..they had solo cd's of mozart, rachmaninov, haydn and ravel as well, but i thought i'd just get a compilation first since i'm still quite new at classics..maybe once i've gotten familiar with each musicians style and made sure whose i prefer then i'll start collecting the solos i guess..hehe..

there was this beautiful piano sonata by Ravel (i think) called "Water" ke, "Ripples" ke, "Rain" or something on Nodame..i thought that was sooo beautiful..the Ravel cd at MPH was not in English though so i had no idea what it said..haha..

so yeah, i'm very much into classics right now..if anyone who reads this has great classical/orchestra/quartet/etc knowledge, please drop me some suggestions alright..especially something along the lines of cronos quartet, metallica's S&M, evanescence's lacrymosa, and such rock-ish orchestra-ish stuff..it would be much appreciated :)

-end-

On the Streets of KL

2009-06-15T21:11:00.005+08:00

my mom and i walked through jalan masjid india today (and its counter parts) in search for good looking fabrics for baju raya..since we were in the area, we decided to drop by the PAM office to hand in the arch-inquiry claim..

kl being kl, public transport is usually a walk away from wherever you need to go (with the exception of klcc and ampang park ofcourse)..especially in this case, we were headed to jalan tangsi which is located in the middle of nowhere (seriously)..

so we walked all the way from masjid jamek lrt station to dataran merdeka, then cut through the royal selangor club to end up on jalan kinabalu (i think..)..as we arrived in front of the Kuala Lumpur Memorial Library (which was gorgeous-ly reanimated), there was a saviour to my right..

there we found a new and improved public toilet facility..i had to pay 20 cents to enter, but i honestly would have paid RM1 if i had to..not just because i really had to go, but it was a public toilet to be proud of..operating under one of those "urban-tropical-open-toilets" concept, it was really comfortable and clean..a big two thums up to KL..

as our adventure continues, my mom and i had to walk a little further down Selangor Club (back towards the direction we came from because we kinda got lost) then turn left and cross under a fly-over to get to the PAM head-quarters..there, right before we went under the fly-over, we met a creepy malay man walking towards our direction..

he was obviously a drug addict; high and unstable, gripping a knife with a red handle in his right hand..i was too blur to realize what was going on (just to freakin cross the road is a walk of death in kl!) but my mom had already began directing me away..

luckily for us (hehe..but pity them though), there was a mat salleh couple walking slightly ahead of us on our right..i guess the addict felt he could get more by harassing tourists so he adjusted his bearings and headed straight for the mat salleh guy calling "hey, brother!"..they were also quite quick to react, the lady had made a wide detour and the guy took it upon himself to fend the guy off casually..

we were all very very lucky that the creepy guy (maybe feeling a little threatened somehow) probably doubted himself and decided to walk away..my mom, utterly freaked out, dragged me through under the fly-over and persisted we should just call a cab back home as soon as we're done at PAM..

so we did..

that was my KL adventure for today..although dramatic and tiring, at least we got a lot done..KL is quite a circus when it comes down to it..but within this circus, there's so many wonderful things hiding behind its old walls and bustling vehicles..i love it so much, and i hate it at times too..a love-hate relationship; so extremely addictive :-)

-end-

Are You Ready for the Next Chapter?

2009-06-14T22:13:00.006+08:00

i must admit, i'm no modern disney supporter..all these "hannah montana, camp rock and high school musical-s" are driving me crazy..i have reasons to believe that they poison the minds of todays youth..yup yup yup..

but recently, i've become a victim of this disaster..as much as i want to deny it..i am a fan of a greatly inspiring song (dammit!)...

at the end of these 4 years of utter slogging, there's much to complain and go on about..there were many lessons, many realizations, and sadly many disappointments..it is that damned hard alright..now, emotionally, physically and socially battered, a song sings my exact feelings on the radio..and i just can't help but sing-a-long..

i can almost see it, that dream i'm dreaming

but there's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it.

every step i'm taking, every move i make feels lost with no direction

my faith is shaking but...

i, i have to be strong

got to keep my head held high.

there's always gonna be another mountain

i'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle

sometimes i'm gonna have to lose.

it's not about how fast i get there

not about what's waiting on the other side

it's the climb.

the struggles i faced, the chances i take,

sometimes had knocked me down

but no, i'm not breaking.

i may not like it,

but these are the moments i'm going to remember most.

i must keep going

and i, i have to be strong

just keep pushing on, cause

there's always gonna be another mountain

i'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle

sometimes i'm gonna have to lose.

it's not about how fast i get there

not about what's waiting on the other side

it's the climb.

so climb...

that's right, these are lyrics to The Climb by Miley Cyrus..but i altered it a little to exaggerate my emotional connection..hahaha!..but personally, i think it's a really good song..

-end-

COMPLETE Awareness Day, "Save the Palestinians"

2009-01-16T20:03:00.004+08:00

Click below to watch the promo video for this Sunday's event

"SAVE THE PALESTINIANS" Campaign